The Power of Day Retreats for Women: A Transformative Experience
A day retreat offers a unique opportunity for women to disconnect from the chaos of daily life and reconnect with their inner selves and others. The immediate benefits of mental detox, slowing down, and fostering deep connections are complemented by long-term gains in personal growth, stress management, and overall well-being. Moreover, the positive changes experienced by women who attend day retreats can have a ripple effect, enhancing their relationships at home and their performance at work. Investing in a day retreat is not just a gift to oneself but also a gift to one’s family, workplace, and community.
In today's fast-paced world, the idea of dedicating an entire day to oneself may seem like a luxury few can afford. Yet, taking a day to retreat, disconnect from technology, and engage in mindful activities can have profound benefits, both immediately and in the long run.
Unlike a weekend retreat, which may feel like a significant time commitment, or a single yoga class, which might not offer enough time for deep introspection, a full-day retreat provides the perfect balance.
Immediate Benefits of a Day Retreat
Mental Detox: Modern life is inundated with constant notifications, emails, and social media updates. A day retreat allows women to turn off their phones, step away from the digital noise, and give their minds a much-needed break. This mental detox can reduce stress, anxiety, and the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Mindful Slowing Down: The structured yet unhurried nature of a day retreat encourages participants to slow down. Activities like guided meditations, nature walks, and reflective exercises help in calming the mind and fostering a sense of inner peace. This deliberate slowing down helps in realigning thoughts and emotions, promoting mental clarity and focus.
Deep Connection: Retreats are designed to foster connection, not just with oneself but also with others. Sharing experiences and engaging in group activities can create a sense of community and belonging. These connections can be incredibly enriching, offering support, understanding, and shared joy.
Long-Term Benefits of Attending a Day Retreat
Sustained Well-Being: The insights and relaxation gained during a day retreat can have lasting effects. Participants often leave feeling rejuvenated and more in tune with their inner selves. This renewed sense of self-awareness can lead to better mental health practices and a more balanced lifestyle.
Enhanced Personal Growth: Engaging in reflective and mindful activities allows women to explore their thoughts, emotions, and aspirations. This can spark personal growth, encouraging them to pursue their passions, set meaningful goals, and live more authentically.
Stress Management: Learning techniques to manage stress effectively is a crucial aspect of day retreats. Practices such as meditation, breathwork, and mindful movement can be incorporated into daily life, providing tools to handle stressors more gracefully and maintain a calm demeanor.
The Ripple Effect: Benefits for Families and Workplaces
Healthier Family Dynamics: When women take time for themselves, they return to their families with a refreshed mind and a calmer disposition. This can lead to more positive interactions, better communication, and a nurturing home environment. Children and partners can benefit from the presence of a more relaxed and happy family member.
Improved Workplace Performance: A woman who has taken time to recharge and reflect is likely to be more productive, focused, and creative at work. The stress management techniques learned during a retreat can also help in maintaining a healthy work-life balance, preventing burnout, and enhancing overall job satisfaction.
Modeling Self-Care: By prioritizing their well-being, women set a powerful example for those around them. Whether at home or in the workplace, demonstrating the importance of self-care can inspire others to adopt similar practices, creating a culture that values mental and emotional health.
If you are located in Louisville, KY and looking to try this out - the team of Women Who Thrive have put together two successful day retreats in the past and are hosting another one Fall of 2024. Learn more and sign up for your spot here and please message their team with any questions you may have.
Written by Shannon Gonter
I specialize in working with individuals aged 18-35. Some presenting concerns that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others. I am trained to help you become more aware of your emotional responses to these challenges and help you recognize problematic relational patterns and new ways to cope. This awareness will create new opportunities for learning more adaptive ways of relating to others and coping with life’s stressors.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
You Cannot Change Anyone But Yourself (A Hard Lesson To Learn)
It is impossible to not notice the actions of others around you (friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers online…) and it makes it highly difficult to separate those actions from yourself when those behaviors trigger you. I mean I even get annoyed of people’s behaviors that I don’t even know! Just seeing certain things online or hearing about a friend’s friend I cringe over certain actions and so desperately want to get ahold of their lives and whip them into shape!
Ever find yourself getting upset, angry, or frustrated by other people’s thoughts and behaviors? If you answered “yes” then…guess you’re alone on that one because no one else in this world does. Good luck in dealing with that. End of the post.
JUST KIDDING! I AND THE REST OF HUMANITY ARE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.
It is impossible to not notice the actions of others around you (friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers online…) and it makes it highly difficult to separate those actions from yourself when those behaviors trigger you. I mean I even get annoyed of people’s behaviors that I don’t even know! Just seeing certain things online or hearing about a friend’s friend I cringe over certain actions and so desperately want to get ahold of their lives and whip them into shape!
But. That’s not how life works.
The fact is, you only have control over YOUR thoughts, YOUR behaviors and YOUR emotions.
This concept has been drilled into us since an early age (but that doesn’t mean we know how to appropriately integrate it into our adult lives). Personally, I was told over and over by my parents that “they are looking for a reaction, if you just don’t react, they’ll stop picking on you”. But let’s be serious what 8-year-old (or 28-year-old) understands that logic and has the self-control to put that into action!?
Another thing that is so highly connected to this idea is that we can influence others behaviors, thoughts and emotions based off your responses and reactions. This concept is something I did not catch onto until I was a young adult and is honestly something I still have to learn over and over again. I have to continuously hold myself accountable and remind myself to focus on me and not the actions of others.
Some tips that have helped me remember this are:
Tip 1: Making changes in your own life helps give you perspective on the people around you.
When you come to terms with the very inconvenient truth that you cannot change others you can then explore how you feel about other people that you allow in your life. Is this someone that you need in your life? That benefits your life? That is in your life because you’ve known them for so long? Or because they have a lot of money? Or because they have a powerful holding over you? When you start to expect more from yourself, you start expecting more from the others in your life.
This takes time and won’t happen overnight. But I have seen through my personal path to wellness and with my clients that personal progress leads to heightened levels of confidence that creates more rewarding relationships. Simple fact is, when you get to know yourself better, you will get better at deciding who you should trust and surround yourself with.
Tip 2: Moving forward in your own growth demonstrates to others that change is possible.
New hope and curiosity can be sparked in those around you when they see the hard work and time you are putting into your emotional needs. From my experience and with the clients I have witnessed change in, it usually inspires other to do the same. This is no guarantee, so don’t come back to me when your partner doesn’t change their behaviors after you’ve spent months putting in the work on your end. Your motivation to move forward on your path to personal growth should not be fueled by wanting other people to change (and if it is then check yourself, because changes made for others are usually short lived).
Tip 3: You must be compassionate with yourself and be realistic in your expectations for yourself.
Be patient with yourself. Remember that this is a marathon, not a race. You have lived a certain way for decades, and it is going to take more than reading one blog (or several blogs) to make those changes set in for real. Suggestion during this time is to start small and honor the moments when you achieve one of your baby goals. Maybe its setting an appropriate boundary (and sticking with it). Possibly with your friend that you will not lend them money each month anymore, or maybe with your mom that you don’t need to tell her every little thing that happened throughout the day but that you’ll update each other on a weekly phone call.
Major take away:
Though other people might not be ready for change (and cannot be forced to change), and they may be more comfortable if you would just stay the same way you are now (to make themselves feel more comfortable with not changing). You’ve got to focus on yourself and get on the path to wellness and it is there that you will inspire yourself, honor the counseling process and maybe even encourage others on the path.
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC, NCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
We All Love To Talk, Until It’s Our Turn To Have The ‘Difficult Conversation’
Your palms get sweaty, you feel that lump in your throat, you know you need to say something, but it just never feels like the right time. You don’t know where to start, but you know if you could just get that first word out it would all be better, but you just can’t. So, you hold it in, and you hold it in and then you hold it in a little bit more, until you can’t. And then you lose your shit and explode like no other either at that individual, or at someone totally uninvolved like the lady at Kroger who isn’t scanning your groceries fast enough.
Your palms get sweaty, you feel that lump in your throat, you know you need to say something, but it just never feels like the right time. You don’t know where to start, but you know if you could just get that first word out it would all be better, but you just can’t. So, you hold it in, and you hold it in and then you hold it in a little bit more, until you can’t. And then you lose your shit and explode like no other. Maybe at that individual, or at someone totally uninvolved like the lady at Kroger who isn’t scanning your groceries fast enough.
We’ve all been there, and it sucks. I want to take some time and share some steps you can take to better prepare for these difficult conversations (so you don’t explode on innocent bystanders). Now, this doesn’t mean that life will now be a breeze, and you’ll have a PHD in difficult conversations. I mean I don’t think you’ll be knocking on your neighbor’s door asking, “do you have anything really hard and worrisome to say to your boss or your partner today? If so, I’ll do it for you! I thoroughly enjoy having difficult conversations!” But I do think you will be able to prepare and approach these conversations from a different angle and in the end receive better results.
Before the conversation:
Define your needs (be direct and specific)
I know a lot of people like to skirt around the issue and take the scenic route to the point of conversation. But honestly that just makes it confusing (for all) and adds more pieces to the puzzle that don’t need to be there. Just ask yourself, “what am I wanting out of this conversation” and see what comes up for you (writing these things down often helps). When you take the time to do this it is easier to understand your true emotions about the subject and easier to separate them from the behavior you may want someone to change.
Start of the conversation:
Describe your emotions
Be cautious of how you start out the conversation. You want to create a calming, compassionate setting so the recipient doesn’t have to automatically put their defenses up. Try not to use all of nothing statements (you always do this, you always do that) or make assumptions (I bet you think I’m crazy…). I suggest using an I statement to start the conversation out. For example: don’t say “you always make me feel so sad”, maybe say “I feel sad. Can I talk to you about something? It’s been on my mind for a long time and I want to open up.”
Describe the situation
After your emotion-based starter statement and the environment has been set for your difficult topic, take a deep breath and go. Remember to be clear and concise.
How To
“I was worried and angry when you came home at 2am on a Tuesday night drunk.”
How Not To
“You are always coming home so late on weeknights, and you’ve clearly had over your limit to drink, you sure know how to push my buttons!”
Then, stop and take another deep breath and allow the other person to digest the information and respond accordingly. If this is the first time you are trying this out (and usually respond like the how not to example), the person on the receiving end might need some extra digestion time to adjust their expectations for the rest of the conversation. So try your best to be patient.
Open the conversation up for discussion and compromise
Now there is no guarantee about how this will go, and there are a couple different routes.
1) Maybe the other persons defenses are already so high, and they just aren't ready for that conversation and shut it down immediately.
2) Maybe the other person just isn’t ready for that conversation right now, so you set a time to revisit this topic after having some time to think it over.
3) Maybe a productive conversation is able to be had and a compromise or solution about how to move forward can be made.
Honestly, none of these responses are good or bad, or right or wrong, but they will give you a good idea of how steady of a ground your standing on in regards to that topic. Remember that this is not a one and done thing but is something that is ever evolving and may take more time with others than it does for you.
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC, NCC
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
#FOMO
Ever wonder what was there before #FOMO? Was there anything? Were we missing out as much on things before? Were we having this same fear before someone hash tagged it?
Ever thought about who invented FOMO? Personally, I never really did. It just wasn’t a thing and then it was a thing and I never really questioned it. Kind of assumed it was some trendy teenager that came up with the term. But it wasn’t. The term FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) was invented by Harvard MBA graduate Patrick J. McGinnisto to assist in business decision making (man did that intention go awry).
Questions…
Ever wonder what was there before #FOMO?
Was there anything?
Were we missing out on things as much before?
Were we having this same fear before someone hash tagged it?
I spent some time thinking about and researching this and it’s apparent that humans held a fear of missing out well before the digital age. So, I spent some more time placing a name to it, and honestly FOMO at its core is ANXIETY. If you are someone who resonates with FOMO (often says it, posts it, thinks it…) but are having a hard time aligning with anxiety --- and are like “I’m not anxious, my mom is anxious, no, no you don’t know what you are talking about” (ding ding ding- your probably anxious and now maybe even a little more anxious because I’m telling you that your anxious). But it’s okay, you are not alone. Anxiety is a natural response to being a human and interacting with others and there are steps you can take to assist you in lowering your anxiety (aka FOMO) levels.
Let’s take a look at the symptoms of both and see if there are any similarities…
ANXIETY
Physical
Stomach ache
Sleep issues
Increased heart rate
Dizziness…
Mental
Feeling like your going crazy
Fear of impending doom
FOMO
Physical
Stress eating
Salvation
Obsessive behaviors (refreshing Snap Chat one million time in a minute to see if there is a new post)
Sweating…
Mental
Feeling like your temporary going insane
Panic…
See the similarities? Okay, so now what…
Admit and Accept
Step 1: Repeat after me. “I mentally cannot handle the pressure and physically cannot be everywhere at all times, looking my best, and doing the coolest things all the time, and THAT IS OKAY.”
Step 2: Repeat.
Step 3: Repeat again and again and again some more.
During this phase you will feel like a secret has been unleashed and that a burden has been lifted off your shoulders. Being able to admit and accept that you are experiencing social anxiety and acknowledging your insecurities will assist you in learning how to tackle the problem.
Limit your activity
If you can, turn off your phone for an hour, several hours, a day even. Re-create the ways you start your mornings, or a different way to deal with down time without having your phone glued to your hands.
But I get it, our phones house vital information for our day to day lives and they can’t exactly be turned off for extended periods of time. So, maybe just limit your activity throughout the day. Be intentional about the times you check social media. For example: you ride public transport to work for 40 minutes each day, so this is now your designated time to check social media. Just try it (for at least a week). Find a time of day that works for you and only look at your social media accounts then and see how you feel.
Practice mindfulness
I know, I know welcome to another blog that preaches about mindfulness. Gets old after a while, huh? BUT THERE IS A REASON EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT.
Mindfulness is a therapeutic technique that refers to a nonjudgmental observation or awareness that is focused on the present experience. It has been proven to reduce rumination, stress and emotional reactivity and boost the working memory, focus and relationship satisfaction. Some simple ways to tap into mindfulness today are: body scans, guided meditations, or an app.
These above-mentioned steps on how to conquer your #FOMO will help you enjoy what you are doing in the here and now, and not be hyper focused on what else you could be doing.
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC, NCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.