self-care
/ˌselfˈker/
noun
1. the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.
2. the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
en·tre·pre·neur
/ˌäntrəprəˈnər,ˌäntrəprəˈno͝o(ə)r/
noun
noun: entrepreneur; plural noun: entrepreneurs
1. a person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so.
The above definitions make entrepreneurial-ship and self-care seem like 1. concrete, tangible things 2. easy to do things and 3. things that we were taught to do.
#wrong
Okay but on the real front - I do agree with the above definitions. Self-care is helpful during times of stress and an entrepreneur does organize, operate and have financials on the line. I just think there are a few things missing from these definitions. The way they are written now leaves limited room for our true and perceived beliefs and experiences of entrepreneurs and self-care to be inserted in
Self-care is so much more.
As humans living in todays society we may know that self-care is meditating, taking deep breaths, getting a massage, hanging out with friends, etc.. But what a lot of us don’t know is that many people don’t care for themselves because society as taught us that it is selfish - which leads us to feel guilty, ashamed, and scared to think about putting ourselves first (let alone actually following through with it). Learn more about what self-care is and isn’t here.
Entrepreneurial-ship is so much more.
As entrepreneurs we know that this route is not for all and definitely isn’t easy. It involves so much vulnerability, stress, sacrifice, goal making and reaching (or attempting to reach), long hours, sleepless nights, risk taking, the continual search for improvement in all the things, and non stop creativity think thank - which inevitability leads to blurred to no boundaries between work and home which could be disastrous without some self-care.
So what now? Let’s think through some things and maybe write some new definitions…
We need debunk and reframe what being selfish is…
Learn about the different types of self care and how we are integrate these into our lives…
Hone in on the unique aspects of being an entrepreneur…
Allow ourselves space to step back from the grind and think about ways we can integrate these items into our day to day life in order to bring more compassion, curiosity and stability to our personal and professional lives…
Debunk and reframe what being selfish is
SELF-ISH
•Taking care of yourself first.
•Placing value on your own needs.
•Acknowledging your limited resources and understanding that what you prioritize becomes your life.
SELFISH
•Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
•Making choices that benefit us at the expense of others.
•Careless.
Reading these out loud you can hear the difference. SELFISH vs SELF-ISH. For the purposes of this blog and when thinking about your self in the case of self care, we want to think about SELF-ISH and not frame self care as SELFISH.
Some experts say that self care is the opposite of selfish because when we do self care we become the best version of ourselves and are able to show up for our friends, loved ones and family better and be more present with them therefore benefitting everyone and not just ourselves. When we consistently put others ahead of ourselves, we send a message that our own needs are less important.
This unfortunately happens more often then you think. People often feel like “doormats”, maybe by being the one who gets stuck with the extra work at the office, the parents who can’t remember the last time they took a moment for themselves, the spouses who feel they can never win, and everyone who chronically puts the needs of others first.
Different types of self care
PHYSICAL
Involves movement, health, sleep, diet, touch and intimacy.
PSYCHOLOGICAL
Involved learning something new, thinking, engaging motivation from within, expression through creativity and intentionality.
EMOTIONAL
Enhances emotional literacy, assists one in navigating emotions, increasing empathy, managing stress more effectively, and develop compassion for self and others.
SOCIAL
Individuals that are in your life that you trust and can turn to when needed. Allows you to feel connected to others.
PROFESSIONAL
Maintaining clear professional boundaries, sharing your strengths and talents, and living your life and following your passions outside of work.
ENVIRONMENTAL
Clean, clutter free, organized work, business and personal environment.
SPIRITUAL
Beliefs and values that guide you and that are important to your life.
FINANCIAL
Being responsible with your finance and having a conscious relationship with money.
Learn more about the different types of self-care here.
Unique aspects of being an entrepreneur
Isolation: You may be a team of one and/or one of the few individuals in your industry in your area
Creativity: High demand and constant pressure for creativity and innovation
Passion: You are likely to be driven by passion, which can be much more emotionally draining then working for someone else or a corporation
Motivation: You are likely to be highly driven, motivated and goal oriented
Optimism: You are bound to face obstacles throughout your business journey and will likely use them as fuel to reach higher goals
Persuasive: We know that you know your sh*t, but at the beginning stages of starting a business there is a lot of mingling, talking and getting people to buy into your idea
Flexible: Adapting and adjusting, adapting and adjusting - the unspoken motto of the entrepreneurial life
Space
If you are an entrepreneur you probably embody some of the above qualities, if not all of them and maybe even some of these qualities to the extreme. Maybe so motivated that you never stop chasing after the next goal, or so creative that it’s hard for you stop writing down and putting time into your next big idea, or maybe so independent that you are becoming overwhelmed and feeling lonely at work and home. See what I am getting at here?
Though these qualities are fantabulous for your business, we need to create space and allow for more balance in our lives so we can remain and maintain stability to have the longevity in our beloved careers before we burn ourselves out! Cultivate compassion and curiosity about your schedule and lifestyle and allow for yourself to put YOU first from time to time.
Take control and rewrite the definitions of self-care and being an entrepreneur to work for you! Because remember if YOU are not at your best self, there is no way YOUR business is going to be at its best self.
Questions to ask yourself to learn more about and maybe even challenge some of your beliefs :)
Did you know anyone growing up that had their own business?
How did you learn about entrepreneurial-ship?
Were people in your life supportive of your decision to start your own business?
How you think of yourself as a creative?
What was the value placed on work in your household growing up?
What does selfishness mean to you?
Do you ever allow yourself to be in a place of not knowing?
Do you allow yourself to ask questions?
What was the value placed on hobbies in your household growing up?
Written by Shannon Gonter
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
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