Adapt – Adjust – Repeat // Self-Care for Entrepreneurs

self-care

/ˌselfˈker/

noun

1.    the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.

2. the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.

en·tre·pre·neur

/ˌäntrəprəˈnər,ˌäntrəprəˈno͝o(ə)r/

noun

noun: entrepreneur; plural noun: entrepreneurs

1.    a person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so.

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The above definitions make entrepreneurial-ship and self-care seem like 1. concrete, tangible things 2. easy to do things and 3. things that we were taught to do.

#wrong

Okay but on the real front - I do agree with the above definitions. Self-care is helpful during times of stress and an entrepreneur does organize, operate and have financials on the line. I just think there are a few things missing from these definitions. The way they are written now leaves limited room for our true and perceived beliefs and experiences of entrepreneurs and self-care to be inserted in

via GIPHY

Self-care is so much more.

As humans living in todays society we may know that self-care is meditating, taking deep breaths, getting a massage, hanging out with friends, etc.. But what a lot of us don’t know is that many people don’t care for themselves because society as taught us that it is selfish - which leads us to feel guilty, ashamed, and scared to think about putting ourselves first (let alone actually following through with it). Learn more about what self-care is and isn’t here.

Entrepreneurial-ship is so much more.

As entrepreneurs we know that this route is not for all and definitely isn’t easy. It involves so much vulnerability, stress, sacrifice, goal making and reaching (or attempting to reach), long hours, sleepless nights, risk taking, the continual search for improvement in all the things, and non stop creativity think thank - which inevitability leads to blurred to no boundaries between work and home which could be disastrous without some self-care.

So what now? Let’s think through some things and maybe write some new definitions…

1. We need debunk and reframe what being selfish is…

2. Learn about the different types of self care and how we are integrate these into our lives…

3. Hone in on the unique aspects of being an entrepreneur…

4. Allow ourselves space to step back from the grind and think about ways we can integrate these items into our day to day life in order to bring more compassion, curiosity and stability to our personal and professional lives…

Debunk and reframe what being selfish is

SELF-ISH

•Taking care of yourself first.

•Placing value on your own needs.

•Acknowledging your limited resources and understanding that what you prioritize becomes your life.

SELFISH

•Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

•Making choices that benefit us at the expense of others.

•Careless.

Reading these out loud you can hear the difference. SELFISH vs SELF-ISH. For the purposes of this blog and when thinking about your self in the case of self care, we want to think about SELF-ISH and not frame self care as SELFISH.

Some experts say that self care is the opposite of selfish because when we do self care we become the best version of ourselves and are able to show up for our friends, loved ones and family better and be more present with them therefore benefitting everyone and not just ourselves. When we consistently put others ahead of ourselves, we send a message that our own needs are less important.

This unfortunately happens more often then you think. People often feel like “doormats”, maybe by being the one who gets stuck with the extra work at the office, the parents who can’t remember the last time they took a moment for themselves, the spouses who feel they can never win, and everyone who chronically puts the needs of others first.

Different types of self care

• PHYSICAL

  • Involves movement, health, sleep, diet, touch and intimacy. 

• PSYCHOLOGICAL 

  • Involved learning something new, thinking, engaging motivation from within, expression through creativity and intentionality. 

• EMOTIONAL

  • Enhances emotional literacy, assists one in navigating emotions, increasing empathy, managing stress more effectively, and develop compassion for self and others.

• SOCIAL  

  • Individuals that are in your life that you trust and can turn to when needed. Allows you to feel connected to others.

• PROFESSIONAL

  • Maintaining clear professional boundaries, sharing your strengths and talents, and living your life and following your passions outside of work.  

• ENVIRONMENTAL

  • Clean, clutter free, organized work, business and personal environment. 

• SPIRITUAL 

  • Beliefs and values that guide you and that are important to your life.

• FINANCIAL  

  • Being responsible with your finance and having a conscious relationship with money. 

Learn more about the different types of self-care here.

Unique aspects of being an entrepreneur

• Isolation: You may be a team of one and/or one of the few individuals in your industry in your area

• Creativity: High demand and constant pressure for creativity and innovation

• Passion: You are likely to be driven by passion, which can be much more emotionally draining then working for someone else or a corporation

• Motivation: You are likely to be highly driven, motivated and goal oriented

• Optimism: You are bound to face obstacles throughout your business journey and will likely use them as fuel to reach higher goals

• Persuasive: We know that you know your sh*t, but at the beginning stages of starting a business there is a lot of mingling, talking and getting people to buy into your idea

• Flexible: Adapting and adjusting, adapting and adjusting - the unspoken motto of the entrepreneurial life

Space

If you are an entrepreneur you probably embody some of the above qualities, if not all of them and maybe even some of these qualities to the extreme. Maybe so motivated that you never stop chasing after the next goal, or so creative that it’s hard for you stop writing down and putting time into your next big idea, or maybe so independent that you are becoming overwhelmed and feeling lonely at work and home. See what I am getting at here?

Though these qualities are fantabulous for your business, we need to create space and allow for more balance in our lives so we can remain and maintain stability to have the longevity in our beloved careers before we burn ourselves out! Cultivate compassion and curiosity about your schedule and lifestyle and allow for yourself to put YOU first from time to time.

Take control and rewrite the definitions of self-care and being an entrepreneur to work for you! Because remember if YOU are not at your best self, there is no way YOUR business is going to be at its best self.

Questions to ask yourself to learn more about and maybe even challenge some of your beliefs :)

Did you know anyone growing up that had their own business?

How did you learn about entrepreneurial-ship?

Were people in your life supportive of your decision to start your own business?

How you think of yourself as a creative?

What was the value placed on work in your household growing up?

What does selfishness mean to you?

Do you ever allow yourself to be in a place of not knowing?

Do you allow yourself to ask questions?

What was the value placed on hobbies in your household growing up?

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Written by Shannon Gonter

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

Maintaining a self-care routine when in a global crisis

Thank you to YPAL for hosting this Instagram live interview and for all that you do for Louisville’s young professional community.

Question is: How do you maintain a self-care routine or keep that top of mind when you are so worried about your job, the economy and your loved ones?

First thing. Breathe. Take a deep breath. Or Maybe multiple. This is something I have to do multiple times a day. Though it sounds elementary, intentional deep breathing has mounds of research behind it to support how effective it is in calming the body and mind. (demonstrate and show them how)

So, after that I remind myself that the one constant in life is change. Just how our lives have changed so much due to physical distancing and the shutdowns, our self-care routines are also going to shift because of that or shift day to day just as they did before COVID-19.

Something that is super important to understand during these odd times is that it’s okay to not be okay, and it’s okay that you aren’t eating healthy, running every day, renovating your house and getting all your work/school assignments complete at the same speed as before.

Send your body and mind some grace and love during this crisis. Remember that a lot of your brain space is being taken up by COVID-19 and the transitions we have had to endure, so naturally it is going to slow or take over some of the other functions.

Though I said before that self-care isn’t a crisis management tool, that doesn’t mean that it cannot help in a crisis. It just may not have the same affects as it would of if you were conditioning that muscle before the crisis.

So, start conditioning that muscle now and make sure you are keeping those realistic expectations at the forefront of your brain during these times. Deep breathing, socializing, or other self-care strategies are not going to bring you back down to your “normal” baseline, but maybe they will help ease or lower your heart rate or allow you time to pause and reflect.

We are in the middle of a pandemic, so it would be quite weird if you were feeling “normal” and “in control” and “sturdy”

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Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC

Shannon Gonter, Professional Counseling in Louisville, KY

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

COVID-19 Self-Care

Thank you to YPAL for hosting this Instagram live interview and for all that you do for Louisville’s young professional community.

Transcription:

Hey! I am Shannon Gonter, and I am a licensed professional clinical counselor here in Louisville. I went to U of L for graduate school and did some post graduate work at Bellarmine. In my private practice, I do in person and online individual mental health counseling with adults residing in KY. I mostly work with young adults ranging from 18-35 who are struggling with pressure, perfectionism, emotional suppression, lack of purpose, and the struggles of living up to societies high expectations. After counseling, my clients often feel less stuck in life, more confident in their personal and professional lives, more connected to their emotions, are able to live life by their rules and not the rules that were set for them by others, and just have a better overall understanding of who they are therefore allowing them to navigate their relationships with more ease.

So, Self-care is…

an intentional, necessary and caring thing to do that creates more space for you to focus on you. That may be physical space created, mental space, emotional space, spiritual space, etc. It is something that allows you to focus on you.

Whenever talking about what self-care is I feel the need to point out what Self-care is not (because there are a lot of conscious and unconscious misconceptions out there)

Self-care is quite a trendy term and we do hear a lot about how we need to be “doing more of it” but the reason we don’t just all “do more self-care” is because there is some friction caused by taking time for ourselves.

1) a lot of people don’t really know what self-care is and just think it is pedicures and massages and a privilege (which I am here to tell you that it isn’t)

2) we have also been socialized to view a lot of true self-care activities as selfish and been taught that being selfish is bad (so we naturally steer away from it)

3) We think that self-care is just “adding more of” to our already busy schedules. Which is also false because the point of doing self-care is to make things feel less heavy. So if your “self-care” activities are leaving you feeling guilty if you don’t do them, or exhausted---it may not be self-care for you.

4) Finally, a lot of people just turn to self-care during a crisis and then are like “self-care doesn’t even work for me”. That’s like doing to the gym once and then being surprised that you can’t squat 200 lbs. That’s just not how it works.

Think of self-care like a muscle. If you don’t regularly use those muscles, when you do they are in shock and get quite sore after. But if you give those muscles attention, condition them and use them on the reg, they are much easier to access, know what to do and won’t create so much turmoil for you the next day.

So just like there are different types of muscles in your arm, there are different types of self-care (8).

Physical

o   Involves movement, health, sleep, diet, touch and intimacy. 

Eating on the reg, napping, wearing clothes that make you feel good, seeking medical care when needed, being sexual with yourself or your partner/partners, running, dancing…)

Psychological

o   Involves learning something new, thinking, engaging motivation from within, expression through creativity and intentionality. 

Journaling, finding time to reflect throughout your day, allowing yourself to be curious, doing a digital detox, going to counseling, saying “no” to extra responsibilities…

Emotional

o   Enhances emotional literacy, assists one in navigating emotions, increasing empathy, managing stress more effectively, and develop compassion for self and others.

Loving yourself, allowing yourself to cry, staying in contact with people from your past, spending time with those who you enjoy, expressing your outrage in social action, letters, donations, volunteering, marches, protests…

Social

o   Individuals that are in your life that you trust and can turn to when needed. Allows you to feel connected to others.

Meeting new people, volunteering, asking for help when needed, maintaining health boundaries with others, maintaining your commitments made…

Professional

o   Maintaining clear professional boundaries, sharing your strengths and talents, and living your life and following your passions outside of work.  

Actually take a lunch break, being clear with your roles and responsibilities for your day to day, remind yourself that you can negotiate your needs to be met…

Environmental

o   Clean, clutter free, organized work, business and personal environment. 

Not littering, monitoring your technology time, decluttering your house, cleaning your clothes on a regular basis, taking care of your car/bike…

Spiritual

o   Beliefs and values that guide you and that are important to your life.

Spending time in nature, connect with community, be aware of nonmaterial aspects of life, don’t be the expert at all times, meditation…

Financial

o   Being responsible with your finance and having a conscious relationship with money. 

Knowing how much income is coming in, knowing what your expenses are, keeping your insurances up to date, completing taxes on time, saving for future events…

Usually people are not naturally - equally good at being aware of and maintaining all 8 categories of self-care at once. They are going to fluctuate given the person, time of year, work schedule, life happenings, etc. Maybe you are a highly spiritual individual so that category is always overflowing but you are not fiscally tuned in. So maybe spending some time and creating space for new financial self-care skills could assist you and your overall well-being.

 As pretty much everything does, certain aspects of self-care look different during the times of COVID-19 because our schedules are out of whack, there is a lot of uncertainty going around, everything has gone virtual, school is cancelled, anxiety is high and I could just keep going on and on with all the changes but I’ll stop there.

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Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC

Shannon Gonter, Professional Counseling in Louisville, KY

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

Why Men Should Do More Self-Care

Why Men Should Do More Self-Care

First…

Self-care is intentional, necessary and caring for yourself. Self-care isn’t selfish, expensive (always), adding more of, or crisis management.

Learn what self-care is and isn’t here.

Second…

There are 8 different types of self-care (who knew there were so many)!

Physical, Psychological, Emotional, Social, Professional, Environmental, Spiritual, and Financial.

Learn more here.

Third…

Humans on this planet need to do more self care, and men are humans so…

But for real. Men. Self-care isn’t just for females, and its not just pedicures and bubble baths. You are a complex human being as well and need to care for your body inside and out.

Self-care…

• Makes you healthier (physically and emotionally)

• Allows you to perform better

• Whips your mental health into shape

• Allows you to be more present for yourself and your loved ones

• Puts you in a position of being a good role model  

• Increases your levels of resilience

• Decreases your stress levels

• And many many more…

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If you are having difficulties maintaining a “work life flow” and fitting in more time for yourself, schedule a free consultation with me to see if my services could be of any benefit to you.

Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC, Counselor in Louisville, KY with Therapy by Shannon

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

How To Fit Self Care Into Your Already Busy Day

4 Ways To Insert Self-Care Into Your Already Jam Packed Schedule

I get it you are busy. 

Maybe you feel like there is barely enough time to catch a breath throughout the day or take a bathroom break let alone think about or schedule in some self-care. 

Reminder: the point of self-care is not to add more things onto your schedule, to do list or to stress you out. It is to create and allow some space and time for you and your needs so you can show up and be more present, focused and ready to tackle those items that are on your schedule. 

Tips & Tricks to fitting it all in…

1.     Start With Your Needs

What do you need more of in your life? What do you need less of in your life? What needs are you looking to meet with self-care? What is the thing you need most in your life right now? Answers sometimes include, but are not limited to relaxation, quietness, connection, stability, love, energy, etc.

2.     Think Micro NOT Macro 

Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive, or involve you spending hours at the gym or at the spa. Instead of doing large chunks of self-care all the time, break it down into more digestible chunks so it can be squeezed into your day to day schedule. Having a spa day, taking a mini day trip, and working out are all great “macro” self-care items, and you should still focus energy on those, but just not all your energy. Allow yourself to explore with “micro” self-care items such as: surrounding yourself with positive post it notes or messages, closing your eyes and counting to ten before starting your car to drive home, standing up and stretching at your desk, get outside during your lunch break, actually take a lunch break, when you feel the urge to go to the bathroom go use the restroom (stop holding it in!), walk around your office building, wear clothes that make you happy, drink water throughout your day, smile, etc. 

3.     Set Boundaries And Stick To Them

Saying “no” isn’t easy (for you or those around you) but it can be such a great self-care tactic to integrate into your life. If we are usually the one to say “yes” to all, we will receive some push back from those around us once we set certain boundaries and start sticking to them. But what is gained from this is an immense amount of appropriate power and self-love for out wants, needs and abilities. Remember that the world isn’t going anywhere and that it will still be there for you when you are done taking time for yourself. 

4.     Take A Lunch Break (I mean it!)

Not a working lunch break, not a lunch break where you are listening to or reading up on business related items, and not a 5-minute lunch break where you shovel your food into your mouth at your desk while answering emails. A real lunch BREAK. Leave your workstation and let yourself decompress. We all don’t have the luxury of having a true hour lunch break, but if you do, USE IT! If you don’t, be creative and find a way to turn off your work brain and pop in a true crime podcast, your favorite Spotify playlist or something else that interests you. 

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Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others. Learn more here.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

Self-Care Suggestions For Men

Make time for yourself 

• Brush your teeth at least twice a day 

• Take a shower on a regular basis 

• Get a massage 

• Get a pedicure or manicure (not just for the females out there…we all have hands, feet and nails that don’t like being neglected)

• Meditate (on your own, with an app, on YouTube, in a class…)

• Journal about your day. Check out my weekly journal prompts for inspiration. 

• Read anything. Nowadays no one reads anything so take some time to intentionally read a book, a blog, an article, anything. 

 Engage with others 

• Volunteer your time with your job, professional groups, community, church, friends, family etc. Doesn’t have to be a long-term commitment (unless you want it to be) but it could be as simple as volunteering to bake for the cookie sale, or to assist with carpool duties. 

• Make time for yourself and others. Simply put. 

• Avoid toxic people in real life and online. 

• Goof off when you can. You can do it alone, with your partner, kids, or friends. 

• Socialize on a regular basis. This may look like a more formal night out with friends, but it can also just be intentionally striking up a conversation with the individual checking you out at the grocery store. 

Embrace health

• What are you doing with your body? Make sure to exercise on a regular basis. This could be for 10 minutes or this could be for an hour. Just commit to sweating and understand that sweating doesn’t have to just happen at the gym. It can happen on a walk, mowing your lawn, washing the car, playing with your children, decluttering the basement, etc. 

• Be aware of what you are putting into your body. Not asking you to completely change your habits but just to bring awareness to what you put into your body on a regular basis. Do you eat fast food a lot? Do you have a tendency to pick the greasiest items on the menu when eating out? Are you getting enough nutrition from your foods for your body? Do you drink alcohol or do drugs? If so, how often? Educate yourself on the impacts these habits have on the body and your goals and if you are wanting to change your relationship with food, alcohol, drugs, etc. then find the right support and environment to do that in. 

• Drink water. Lots of water. All day, every day. Mayo clinic suggests that men drink 15.5 cups of water a day. 

• Get regular sleep. The average adult should sleep between 7-8 hoursa night. 

• Accept that bodily, mental, and emotional changes occur as you grow older. 

Find passion and connection

• Go home to your family, to your pet to your plants or to your couch. Setting appropriate boundaries with work is crucial self-care and vital to finding a good “work life flow”.

• Learn to say “no” and set boundaries (and sticking to them) with yourself, at work, or in your relationships.

• Pursue a new hobby or pick up a old one. 

Know your burnout signs

• Know stressors in your life and what to do when they pop up.Common stressors could be working long hours, discrimination, financial hardship, pleasing your partner, maintaining your household, etc. 

• Write a priority based ‘to do’ list to avoid getting overwhelmed by the demands of the daily grind. 

• Have a positive outlook on the situation at hand. 

• Identify and challenge your negative thinking patterns. This may be in the form of negative self-talk. 

• Ask for help. In a big way or a small way. Just reach out to someone for something. 

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Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC

Shannon Gonter, Professional Counseling in Louisville, KY

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

Why Young Adults Should Do More Self-Care

Young adults should do more self-care because they are humans, and humans in our society don’t do enough self-care. But more specifically young adulthood is a time period where a lot of exciting things are happening and we can often be forgetful that in order to have enough energy to be present during these transitions, events, parties, promotions, etc we have to be in the right headspace. 

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Hint hint we usually aren’t because we have so many exciting things going on… who has time to hit pause?!

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We need to find the time because with increased self-care in our lives comes increased productivity, burnout prevention, stress reduction, increasing our physical health and our knowledge of self. 

• Increased productivity

A big self-care strategy is learning how to say “no” to things (professionally or socially) and once we learn to say “no” we are able to intentionally focus and make more time for what really matters. Therefore, allowing us to be more productive at the tasks that truly matter. 

• Prevents burnout

You push, push, push until you have nothing else to give. We’ve all been there and surely don’t want to go back there. Consistent self-care can assist us in not turning into our burnt out selves. Remember self-care isn’t an emergency tactic and should be used on a regular basis.  

• Reduced stress

The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is activated during most self-care items which puts our bodies in a restful mode, therefore lowering stress levels and increasing our ability to remain calm for longer periods of time in the future. 

• Better physical health 

Similar to the points made above, when we integrate self-care into our day to day life, we open the door to a healthier lifestyle. By clearing out space internally (reducing stress, setting more appropriate boundaries, etc.) we make room to better care for our physical bodies as well. Creating the space for us to make sure we are eating on a regular schedule, getting enough sleep, moving your body on a regular basis, and seeking preventative health care (therefore reducing our chances of catching a cold, getting the flu or becoming ill). 

• Helps you refocus 

Practicing healthy self-care throughout your days is essentially taking little brain breaks. By allowing your brain to have a micro break (deep breathing and counting to 10) or a macro break (scheduling a massage) you are allowing your mind and body to reset. This reset allows you to start fresh and strengthens your ability to focus on day to day tasks. 

• Increased self-knowledge 

Part of self-care means knowing yourself, your passions and what you like. If you don’t know this and are just “doing” self-care, it is going to feel like you are just adding more things onto your to do list and it’s going to feel more like a chore and be more of a strain to your life then an additive.  

DO MORE SELF-CARE

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Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC

Shannon Gonter, Professional Counseling in Louisville, KY

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

Self-Care Suggestions For Young Adults

Stretch

Don’t even need to get up to do this one. Literally just stretch your arms up like you are going to touch the ceiling and lean over to the right and then to the left. Maybe forward and maybe backwards a little. 

Walk

Either an intentional walk in the AM or PM or even just a small choice throughout your day to take the stairs instead of the elevator, or maybe walking around your building while on break. 

Run

No matter for how long or for how short. Get out there (or in there for you treadmill runners) and get your sweat on!

Sit still

Literally. Sit still. Do nothing. Focus on nothing. For those of you trying it now…harder than it seems, huh? We all know that practice makes perfect, so keep doing it bit by bit and it’ll get easier! 

Sunshine

Soak it up! If you are inside a majority of your day make sure to spend some extra time in the sun while walking to your car. The sunshine has so many natural helpers in its rays and we need to soak up all that we can (as long as we are wearing our SPF)! 

Breathe

Like duh. We are all breathing. But be intentional with your breathes. Focus on your inhales and exhales. Try and do this at least 10 seconds a day. If you have an Apple Watch or a smartphone you can download apps and set timers to remind you to mindfully breathe. 

Cloud watch

Don’t have to lay on the ground and stare at the sky for hours (unless you want to do that) but maybe just taking a moment on your walk around Cherokee Park to sit on the bench and look at the sky for a bit or even on your walk to your car after a long day of work – pause and take in the views of the sky before hustling to your next location.  

Nap

Try taking a 10 to 30-minute nap. Don’t be fooled by the short time frame, short naps can do wonders. 

Eat slowly

Though you may be STARVING, don’t scarf your food down. Be intentional about what you are putting on your utensil and slow down the time it takes for the food to get to your mouth from the plate. 

Walk around barefoot 

Ground yourself with the earth. Either in your yard, at a park, beach or lake, etc. 

Change the way you make choices

Don’t always let your automatic thoughts and patterns take over. For example, if you usually plan your dinners around what is leftover in your fridge, try to be more intentional and plan your meals throughout your week. 

Fix a small annoyance

That shower curtain rod that keeps falling down in the bathroom. Fix it. Fix it now and enjoy knocking off that one small annoyance.  

Be selfish

Do one thing a day that makes you happy. 

Start a compliments file

Only compliments about yourself can go in this file so spend some time writing about yourself and then spend some more time reading about yourself weeks later. 

Declutter

Something, anything, everything. The apps on your phone, your computer files, your car, closet, desk, room, or house, etc. 

Unplug

From all digital devices. Maybe it is only for 30 minutes or maybe it is for an entire day. Spend some quality time with yourself and/or loved ones without the distraction of technology. 

Unfollow

Unhelpful people on social media.

Follow

Helpful people on social media.  

Read

Anything. Nowadays we are so used to skimming everything we see. Take some time to focus in on one blog, article, book, comic, anything and really read it!

Help someone

Open a door for someone, carry a bag, or mow your neighbor’s lawn. Do something else for someone else. 

Take another driving route to work

By switching up your normal routine in the slightest way it will create new neural pathways in your brain to assist keeping it healthy. 

Pet an animal

Let yourself stop in the park and pet that cute pup (of course ask the owner first). 

Splurge

Every once in a while, on something that you have had your eye on. 

Spa

Let yourself R E L A X at the spa one day. Treat yourself to a massage, facial, mud bath, pedicure and all the above. 

Journal

Write down your thoughts and leave your filters and judgments at the door. Allow this to be a total brain dumb. Some days it might be an entire page and others it may be 2 sentences. Either way it is beneficial for you to get those thoughts out of your head! Prompts here.

Meditation

Doesn’t have to be long. Set the timer for 1 minute and bring your awareness to your thoughts, feelings and sensations. You can also try a longer guided meditation. Check out free resources here. 

Ask for help

In a big way or a small way. Just reach out to someone for something. 

Goof off

Let your hair down. Allow yourself to play with your partner, friends, kids, coworkers…

Say “no”

Setting boundaries (and sticking to them) with yourself, at work, or in your relationships. 

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Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC

Shannon Gonter, Professional Counseling in Louisville, KY

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

What Self-care Is and Is Not

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Self-care is…

• Intentional…

Time set aside for you to focus on you. Uh yah duh. But honestly all of us would probably answer “yes” to the question of “do you care for yourself” but those same people who answered yes to that question would probably be stumped by the question “how do you care for yourself on a day to day basis”.

• Necessary…

For survival as a human living in our high-pressured culture. It should be something that “refuels us, rather than takes from us” as Agnes Wainman stated. If going for a walk in your “self-care” for the day but you dread it every day and cancel on yourself most days, that isn’t self-care. That is a chore. 

• Caring…

Taking care of your mental, emotional and physical health is what self-care is grounded in. We often forget to slow down and care for ourselves throughout our busy days of caring for others or knocking things off the ‘to do’ list. 

Self-care is not…

• Selfish…

In order to do it we do need to consider our needs, and this commonly gets mixed up with selfishness. But remember that we often need to do a better job at caring for ourselves so we can take better care of and model for others how to do the same for themselves. Meaning; if you don’t care for yourself appropriately, you will not be in the place to care for your loved ones either. 

• Expensive…

I mean some self-care items can be expensive and most commonly we think about getting massages, going on a retreat or getting our nails done as ‘self-care’. But there are so many self-care items we can do throughout our days that are free (going for a walk, setting boundaries with work or a friend, drinking water throughout the day, brushing our teeth multiple times a day…). 

• Adding more of…

You shouldn’t be forcing yourself to do self-care. It shouldn’t be something you are dreading doing at the beginning or end of your busy day. It should be intentionally integrated throughout and bring joy to your day. 

• Crisis management…

Not intended to only be used when you are “super stressed” or “burned out”. Self-care items should be integrated into your days and routine to AVOID getting to those high levels of stress and that lead to emotional and physical burn out. 

Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY

Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC, NCC

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

Different Types of Self Care

There are 8 common categories that self-care typically falls under. They will be identified and defined in this blog and you will be provided with examples that can be easily brought into your life.

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Physical

Involves movement, health, sleep, diet, touch and intimacy. 

• Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner (everyday)

• Eat healthier

• Exercise

• Get medical care for prevention

• Seek medical care when needed

• Take time off work

• Get a massage

• Get enough sleep

• Take a nap

• Wear clothes you like and feel good in

• Take a day trip or mini vacation

• Dance

• Swim

• Walk

• Run

• Play

• Be sexual (with yourself or partner/partners)

Psychological 

Involved learning something new, thinking, engaging motivation from within, expression through creativity and intentionality. 

• Allow yourself time to self-reflect on an event, your day, or your life

• Find a counselor 

• Journal

• Read something that is non school/work related

• Let others see different aspects of yourself

• Be curious

• Say “no” to extra responsibilities

• Put your phone down and do a “digital detox”

• Listen to your thoughts, beliefs, judgements, attitudes, and feelings (your inner dialogue) 

Emotional

Enhances emotional literacy, assists one in navigating emotions, increasing empathy, managing stress more effectively, and develop compassion for self and others.

• Spend time with those who you enjoy

• Stay in contact with people from your past

• Love yourself

• Play

• Express your outrage in social action, letters, donations, volunteering, marches, protests…

• Allow yourself to cry

• Be aware of your own boundaries

• Journal (focused on gratitude)

Social 

 Individuals that are in your life that you trust and can turn to when needed. Allows you to feel connected to others.

• Go meet new people

• Volunteer

• Do intramural sports league

• Ask for help when needed

• Join a committee or networking community outside of work

• Maintain boundaries with others

• Be consistent and honor your commitments made (do what you say you are going to do)

Professional

Maintaining clear professional boundaries, sharing your strengths and talents, and living your life and following your passions outside of work.  

•  Remind yourself that you can negotiate for your needs to be met

• Eat a full meal at lunch away from your desk

• Set and maintain clear professional boundaries (not responding to emails on your lunch break)

• Take part in professional development opportunities

• Be clear on your roles and responsibilities for your day to day

Environmental

Clean, clutter free, organized work, business and personal environment. 

• Cleaning your clothes on a regular basis

• Cleaning your dishes on a regular basis

• Decluttering your house

• Taking care of your car

• Recycling when you can

• Not littering

• Monitoring your technology time

Spiritual 

Beliefs and values that guide you and that are important to your life.

• Spend time with nature

• Find a spiritual connection or community

• Be aware of nonmaterial aspects of life

• Try to NOT be the expert at times

• Be open to not knowing things

• Make time for reflection

• Identify what is meaningful to you

• Listen to inspirational things

• Read inspirational literature 

• Meditate

• Go on a retreat 

Financial  

Being responsible with your finance and having a conscious relationship with money. 

• Knowing how much income is coming in

• Knowing what your expenses are

• Knowing how much your expenses are on a month to month basis

• Keeping all insurances up to date

• Completing taxes on time, and responsibly

• Saving money for near future items or vacations

• Saving money for far away future endeavors 

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Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY

Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC, NCC

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.