Childhood:
There is a huge pressure that is put on kids to “brush it off” and “push through it”. This creates very little space for them to learn about your inner thoughts, emotions and needs. Making it difficult to navigate their inner experiences.
Impact:
This pressure and disconnection from self at an early age can cause stress, difficulties within your relationships, and leaves people with several unanswered questions. As humans, we naturally don’t like things that are answered with “idk” or a “?” so we fill in the answer with something - anything.
Issue:
From time to time, as children we are forced to fill in the answer to something we have no business doing, so our little brains and bodies do the best with what we got to survive (physically or figuratively) and we plug something in. If it works, we keep moving on and letting the things do their thing behind the scenes. If it doesn’t “work” then we plug something else in or learn to shut down parts of ourselves to make it “work”.
Time flies:
We then get to adulthood and some of the systems that worked for us as kids and adolescents just aren’t kicking it anymore. So we’ve got to update the system. The system though….doesn’t always like to be messed with. Remember that it has been operating in a certain way for a long, long time and it may have a hard time understanding your adult logic for wanting to switch things up.
How this looks IRL:
After your great achievements of receiving an education and starting your career, what’s next? Maybe you are struggling to find “your path”. The structure that once guided you to where you are today is no longer there, and all that lies in front of you seems like a lonely path.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way:
We know that we are “stuck” and don’t want to be any longer. So what are our options? Let’s try some things and switch it up.
Pause and breathe: For real. Right now. Stop reading this and pause. Close your eyes. Take a HUGE inhale and a huge exhale. Do this for as long as your body needs it.
Talk to a someone: Maybe its a family member, friend or your journal. Let out what is inside you. What you are experiencing is not crazy, is not abnormal and isn’t weird. You are experiencing it because it is what is. Let’s take some time to learn about why we are they way we are and spread that compassion to those parts of self that need it most. Get out of your head and let those words be said. We are not always the best people to talk to ourselves in all situations. We are often times much harsher to ourselves then we are to others.
Meditate: Use an app, go to a class, or simply just close your eyes and be still for 20 seconds. Take whatever step forward in the direction of learning more about meditation and mindfulness based practices and see if you want to integrate any fo those into your daily life.
Try counseling: Maybe you have never tried counseling before, or maybe it has just been years since you were forced to go as a kid or teenager. I believe that counseling can be different. Your decision to enter counseling at this time is for you, for your future, and for your personal growth. I am here to work alongside you to find better solutions to any negative patterns that continue to play out in your life.
Connect to something other then your phone: Maybe it is your breathe, nature, something spiritual, a God, just anything. Be intentional about changing up the routine and connecting with someone other then the usual (social media, Netflix, etc.).
I am Shannon Gonter and I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.