Shannon Gonter 6/26/24 Shannon Gonter 6/26/24

Happiness Is Not Always The Goal

As children, we are often taught societal norms and expectations—how to behave, what to believe, and even how to feel. These boundaries are ingrained early on, shaping our understanding of emotions and how we should express them. Over time, we internalize these norms, sometimes to the detriment of our emotional well-being.

Exploring Emotions: Embracing Authenticity and Connection

Consider the analogy from the movie Inside Out, where Joy strives to keep Riley happy by suppressing other emotions like sadness, anger, and fear. Many of us have been raised in a similar way, encouraged to prioritize happiness above all else. This societal conditioning can lead us to dismiss or suppress emotions that are deemed negative or inconvenient.

However, as we mature, there comes a pivotal moment of realization: we have the agency to question these norms and redefine our relationship with our emotions. It’s about embracing a more exploratory, curious, and evolutionary approach towards how we feel and respond.

Challenging Emotional Norms

Despite the progress we may make in other aspects of our lives—career, relationships, personal growth—our emotional landscape often remains stagnant. We accept rules and expectations for our emotions without critically evaluating if they still serve us.

It’s crucial to recognize that emotional well-being isn’t about being happy all the time. It’s about acknowledging and embracing the full spectrum of human emotions. Sadness, anger, fear—they all serve important purposes in our lives. They provide us with signals about our needs, boundaries, and experiences. By suppressing or denying these emotions, we deny ourselves the opportunity for growth, healing, and genuine connection.

Embracing Emotional Authenticity

Imagine a world where instead of striving for constant happiness, we aim to understand and connect with our emotions authentically. This shift involves unlearning societal conditioning and rewriting our emotional scripts. It’s about allowing ourselves to feel without judgment or guilt, and learning to comfort and connect with our emotions when needed.

This journey towards emotional authenticity requires courage and self-compassion. It means sitting with discomfort, exploring the root causes of our emotions, and learning healthier ways to respond to them. It’s about giving ourselves permission to cry, to be angry, to feel fear—and recognizing that these emotions are not weaknesses but integral parts of being human.

Conclusion

The path to emotional well-being involves reclaiming agency over our emotional lives. It’s about moving away from the expectation of constant happiness and instead embracing the richness and complexity of our emotional experiences. By doing so, we cultivate deeper connections with ourselves and others, fostering a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Let’s challenge the norms, rewrite the rules, and create a space where all emotions are valid and welcomed. After all, true emotional freedom comes from embracing the full spectrum of who we are.

Two things can be true at once. We can be joyful and sad. Nervous and excited. Anxious and Grounded. Jealous and Happy.

Written by Shannon Gonter

I specialize in working with individuals aged 18-35. Some presenting concerns that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others. I am trained to help you become more aware of your emotional responses to these challenges and help you recognize problematic relational patterns and new ways to cope. This awareness will create new opportunities for learning more adaptive ways of relating to others and coping with life’s stressors.

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

Shannon Gonter 11/23/22 Shannon Gonter 11/23/22

How to notice burn out before it consumes you

Let us take a look at how we can notice burn out in our lives before it takes over and consumes us. There are lots of different ways we can notice it so we can prevent the extreme overwhelm.

How to notice the symptoms coming on to prevent it from getting too severe…

Knowing how you and your body hold onto and show stress is going to be very helpful in being able to prevent future burn out breakdowns. If you ignore these signs that your body and mind are sending you – you will eventually hit the burn out phase because the systems inside just can’t anymore.

Even though a lot of us have all sorts of thoughts and past experiences to back up the “just push through it” stage - continuing to just push through the exhaustion (or whatever other symptom(s) is there) and keeping as is will cause further emotional and physical damage to you.

We have got to pause – slow down – see what’s going on – listen to it – ask for help – maintain and repeat.

PAUSE

Literally might mean stop what you are doing and just pause.

SLOW DOWN

Maybe even close your eyes for a few moments and focus on your breathe. Coming in and out of your body. Not trying to change it but just noticing if it is rapid, or slow, or coming from your mouth or nose or up in your chest or down in your belly. Taking note of this automatic process and just being with it.

SEE WHAT’S GOING ON

Notice what is going on in your mind and body. Certain thoughts popping up? Sometimes people get to this stage and notice thoughts popping up that are FREAKING OUT about having their eyes closed or have taken a break in the first place and immediately exit this space and get back to whatever they were doing before. That is okay. THAT GIVES US A LOT OF DATA! Shows us that it is literally so scary to the internal system to pause just for a bit - what I would get most curious about (and maybe with a trained mental health professional) is what is the underlying belief or fear behind that? What is it so concerned will happen if we press pause and slow down and explore.

Maybe you check in with your body and notice that your chest is feeling really tight and almost like an elephant is sitting on it. So just notice that - maybe even bring your hand to you chest and see what its like to focus your attention on that sensation.

LISTEN

When focusing on that specific body sensation or thought - just listen. What else is going on in your mind and body? Do certain things like this sensation? Hate it? Want it to go away? Curious about it? Just take note of all the other thoughts and feelings coming online and be there with them with no expectations or pressure to do anything.

ASK FOR HELP

Dependent on whats going on in your head and body and how comfortable it is for you to have awareness and approach yourself with non judgement - it may be best to start some of this process with a trained mental wellness professional. These individuals are trained to walk by their clients in these ways and assist them in separating from these thoughts, feelings and sensations in order to gain perspective and learn about them.

Burnout doesn't have to just happen to us – it can happen to part of us maybe we have some thing inside of us that is a big doer and planner and preventative thinker and that thing has just been working really really hard nonstop 24 seven for the past 29 years… It's bound to get burn out if we don't get curious about it and help it.

The issue sometimes as we don't know how to help or we don't have the awareness that the doer is so tapped out because we are just too close to it all. It takes slowing down and asking for help to be able to see the doer as one of the many parts of our internal system that keeps us going. So of course we don't want to get rid of the doer but we want the doer to know that there are other parts of the system that can help it out when it's exhausted.

We just have to know and believe that it's OK to be tired it's OK to take a break its OK to ask for help.

Written by Shannon Gonter , LPCC

Shannon Gonter 11/9/22 Shannon Gonter 11/9/22

How Burn Out Looks IRL

Let us take a look at what burn out looks like in real life. How it shows up and what it looks like.

How it looks IRL

PHYSICAL

- Feeling tired all the time

- Lots of headaches

- Lowered immunity

- Change in your typical eating patterns

- Fatigue

- Muscle tension

EMOTIONAL

- Lots of self-doubt

- Helplessness

- Feeling alone in the world

- Little to no motivation

- Cynical outlooks

- Negative attitude

- Anxiety

- Depression

- Numbness

- Compassion fatigue

- Lowered satisfaction when you accomplish something

BEHAVORIAL

- Pulling away from your responsibilities

- Using substances to cope

- Taking out your frustrations on innocent others/things

- Skipping work

- Depersonalization of others

- Lack of creativity

- Procrastination

- Forgetfulness

- Isolation

Written by Shannon Gonter , LPCC

Shannon Gonter 10/26/22 Shannon Gonter 10/26/22

Reframe how we think about burn out...

In the past videos we have talked what what burn out is and many more, but this blog is going to focus on how to reframe burn out.

Let’s reframe how we think about burn out…

When we say “I am so burnt out” - what does that even mean? Coming from the understanding that we are not just one core personality and we all wear several different hats and are made up of lots of different parts - it may be helpful to slow down and ask “who inside me is burnt out”?

We so commonly refer to ourselves as just one collective thing and that makes it difficult to name burn out and know what to do with it because it is very unlikely that YOU are burnt out -it is much more common for the organizer you to be exhausted the perfectionist you to be stressed and never catching a break the compartmentalizer you to be overwhelmed, etc.

Very commonly some of the core parts of ourselves that lead our lives are exhausted and just can’t anymore. They need a break but do not know how to take one or are so scared that if they stop doing what they do best everything else will crumble.

So let us slow down the process and figure out what our bodies and minds are telling us to see who inside is bunt out and needs some help.

Written by Shannon Gonter , LPCC

Shannon Gonter 10/12/22 Shannon Gonter 10/12/22

What can lead to burn out?

What leads to burn out? So many things - specially with the weight of everything these days. Check out this blog that is part of our burn out series to learn more.

What can lead to burn out?

WORK

- Unclear job duties and expectations

- High pressure / high expectation environment

- Overly demanding job duties

- Doing work that is not challenging enough for you

- No – to very little recognition for the good work you are doing

- No control over your work

- Information overload

- Insufficient time off

LIFE

- Not getting enough sleep

- Difficulty asking for help from others

- Taking on too many responsibilities without help from others

- Lack of supportive relationships and help

- Family and caregiving stress

- Not socializing and relaxing enough and working too much

PERSONALITY

- Expectations to always be the high achiever

- Perfectionistic tendencies

- Type A personality traits

- Fearful

- Pessimistic view of the world

Reframe how we think about it…

Written by Shannon Gonter , LPCC

Shannon Gonter 9/28/22 Shannon Gonter 9/28/22

What is Burn Out

What is burn out? Read and listen to learn about burn out in this blog that is part of our burn out series.

Before going much further - lets start with a definition.

What is burn out?

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. (https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/burnout-prevention-and-recovery.htm).

For some it looks like a time in our day or week or year or life that you were super stressed, irritable, exhausted, unhappy, confused on the next steps, unsure, etc. Maybe it lasted a day but likely it lasted longer.

Written by Shannon Gonter , LPCC

Shannon Gonter 9/14/22 Shannon Gonter 9/14/22

Burn Out Is Real

Burn out is real and happens all the time to all different types of people walking all the different walks of life.

Sometimes it happens and then stops - but often it has a cyclical pattern to it and starts -stops and then starts back up again throughout the weeks/months.

We have all experienced it – in some form or fashion - but we may not have ever named it before – so naming it may be scary for some.

But there is SO much power in being able to identify what burn out looks like for you (looks different for everyone), how to identify it in your body and mind, how to prevent it in the future and how to have in the moment compassion for yourself.

Honestly the name “burn out” is quite terrifying – so I hear y’all who are like burn out? What - no. I have it all together…I have never been burnt out. I just am stressed from time to time because “life is stressful” and “this is just what life with a job and 2 kids looks like” and “I just get depressed sometimes”.

Sure – all that may be true. I am not here to tell you that life isn’t stressful – but a lot of the above sayings are also things that do not leave room for us to explore how our bodies and minds are holding stressful life events and digesting its daily happenings.

Burn out happens when so much is built up inside us with little to no awareness of what it is, where it belongs and what to do with it that we loose connection with the knowing that we are capable of slowing down, going in with the hard stuff and coming out on the other end.

Before going much further - lets start with a definition.

What is burn out?

What can lead to burn out?

WORK

- Unclear job duties and expectations

- High pressure / high expectation environment

- Overly demanding job duties

- Doing work that is not challenging enough for you

- No – to very little recognition for the good work you are doing

- No control over your work

- Information overload

- Insufficient time off

LIFE

- Not getting enough sleep

- Difficulty asking for help from others

- Taking on too many responsibilities without help from others

- Lack of supportive relationships and help

- Family and caregiving stress

- Not socializing and relaxing enough and working too much

PERSONALITY

- Expectations to always be the high achiever

- Perfectionistic tendencies

- Type A personality traits

- Fearful

- Pessimistic view of the world

Reframe how we think about it…

So let us slow down the process and figure out what our bodies and minds are telling us to see who inside is bunt out and needs some help.

How it looks IRL

PHYSICAL

- Feeling tired all the time

- Lots of headaches

- Lowered immunity

- Change in your typical eating patterns

- Fatigue

- Muscle tension

EMOTIONAL

- Lots of self-doubt

- Helplessness

- Feeling alone in the world

- Little to no motivation

- Cynical outlooks

- Negative attitude

- Anxiety

- Depression

- Numbness

- Compassion fatigue

- Lowered satisfaction when you accomplish something

BEHAVORIAL

- Pulling away from your responsibilities

- Using substances to cope

- Taking out your frustrations on innocent others/things

- Skipping work

- Depersonalization of others

- Lack of creativity

- Procrastination

- Forgetfulness

- Isolation

How to notice the symptoms coming on to prevent it from getting too severe…

We have got to pause – slow down – see what’s going on – listen to it – ask for help – maintain and repeat.

PAUSE

Literally might mean stop what you are doing and just pause.

SLOW DOWN

SEE WHAT’S GOING ON

LISTEN

ASK FOR HELP

We just have to know and believe that it's OK to be tired it's OK to take a break its OK to ask for help.

Written by Shannon Gonter , LPCC

Shannon Gonter 7/13/22 Shannon Gonter 7/13/22

Our Internal Protective System

Confused by what this even means? Our internal protective system? Huh. I was confuzzled at first too - but just keep on reading and you will see how at the core - all our thoughts, feelings and sensations are protecting us from something.

The root of all of our thoughts, feelings and sensations is protection. It may not seem like that from the surface but if we slow it down and we give all of these internal processes some time and space - they will show and explain to us that they are trying to protect us.

Yes - even the ones that self sabotage, have suicidal thoughts, lie, cheat, steal, etc.

Hmm…still skeptical - keep reading…

Watching eight hours of Netflix straight.

Drinking a bottle of wine in one sitting.

Yelling at your partner.

Cutting your arm.

Eating a lot of food in one sitting.

Constantly doing and never giving yourself a break….

All examples of things that on the surface don't seem helpful or protective. But again if we spend some time with them we will see that they are good natured and protective against the alternative deep down at the core - trying the hardest they can to protect something.

I can't quite give you an example of every single thing and how this plays out in your body and your mind and in your relationships because it's going to be very different for everyone and there are just way to many examples and scenarios that can be described - but below I will give some vague general examples of how these above mentioned things can be protective in nature even when society and others tell us they are not “good” or “healthy” or whatever else they want to label them.

Watching eight hours of Netflix straight.

In comes the socially acceptable binge watching trend that SO many people SO quickly jumped on. But why is this so popular and how did it catch on so quickly?

It was not solely because streaming services produce such high quality good shows - though sometimes that may be the case - but because SO many of us are in need of a way to stop our brains from constantly thinking, doing, preventing and analyzing before we burn out and completely crash.

So as a protective system - our bodies learn that one effective way to avoid burn out from our doer energy is to get a short break from the constant chatter in our heads and zone out on the couch for 8 hours in one sitting. This naturally creates a space for the doers to recharge - AKA protecting the doer parts - and come back after the binge (rest) oftentimes with more energy then ever to start the pattern over and over again.

Though our judgers and parts that think we are lazy will without a doubt criticize the Netflix binger because it is “unproductive” - we have to step back and see that it is not stepping in to make us feel lazy and bad about ourselves but to protect the doer from burn out. Because the alternative of the doer hitting burn out - is a way worse case scenario than the critical voice in our head calling us lazy.

Yelling at your partner.

Yelling at your partner during an argument always has a protective space to it. Remembering that protective does not mean - making things easier in our external lives.

Bringing us back to our internal structure and system - if we know our partner shuts down when we yell at them and fighting makes us feel unsafe and threatened - the protective pattern that may kick in for you is to yell at your partner and stop the fighting for now so your internal system can get back to a safe baseline.

Surely does not mean the fight is over or resolved or again that yelling is the most externally healthy thing to do but for your internal system - parts of it feel protected by the ability to call on yelling to come in and stop it from feeling unsafe and threatened as it was during the argument.

Self harm behaviors.

A lot of us do not feel like we have control of things (inside and outside our bodies) and have lots of feelings inside of us that do not feel safe to feel. These feelings usually have a large held belief that if we feel them it will crumble us and be the worst. If we never get a space to express whats inside in a way that feels safe it leaves us feeling out of control in our internal state and a lot of the time in our external lives as well.

Our bodies will do what they do and take it into their own hands and find a way to take control and feel something (because that is what we are designed to do). So bring self harm into the picture.

Whatever the self harming behavior is - the internal system will very quickly learn that this is an effective way to send the signal to the body that we have control and can feel things on our terms. Therefore protecting us from the held belief that feeling the feelings and being with the past experiences will crumble us all while allowing us to release some of the pain by feeling something that is self inflicted.

When slowing down - we have to bring ourselves back to all the different parts of us that make us who we are. We often look inside and get stuck in a judgmental part of us and just look at everything from the eyes of that thing.

We sit on the couch for 8 hours watching Netflix and don’t see that as a protective mechanism for our doer energy- we see it as us avoiding our to do lists, us being lazy, us not being able to get shit done, etc. But that is just another part of us thinking those things about that behavior and by staying there it wont land us anywhere else but feeling bad about ourselves or our situation.

So what if we went into this slow down process knowing that everything we do, think and feel is protective at its core and start getting super curious to learn more about all the internal structures, systems and patterns inside us. Creating space to build relationship with these parts and not continue the ping ponging battle we have got going on inside our heads and bodies.

If all of this is not making any sense to you - like at all - read a bit more about Internal Family Systems and it may clear up some of the lingo and ways of thinking about our thoughts, feelings, sensations and experiences.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms it will be better suited for you to see an in person counselor to ensure your safety and provide you with the support needed. Please call 911 or find your local mental health emergency services by Googling “(your town) crisis hotline” if you are feeling suicidal or experiencing a mental health crisis.

Written by Shannon Gonter

Shannon Gonter 10/21/20 Shannon Gonter 10/21/20

P R E S S U R E

There is a huge pressure that is put on kids to “brush it off” and “push through it”. This creates very little space for them to learn about your inner thoughts, emotions and needs. Making it difficult to navigate their inner experiences.

Recorded by Shannon Gonter in Louisville, KY

Childhood:

Impact:

This pressure and disconnection from self at an early age can cause stress, difficulties within your relationships, and leaves people with several unanswered questions. As humans, we naturally don’t like things that are answered with “idk” or a “?” so we fill in the answer with something - anything.

Issue:

From time to time, as children we are forced to fill in the answer to something we have no business doing, so our little brains and bodies do the best with what we got to survive (physically or figuratively) and we plug something in. If it works, we keep moving on and letting the things do their thing behind the scenes. If it doesn’t “work” then we plug something else in or learn to shut down parts of ourselves to make it “work”.

Time flies:

We then get to adulthood and some of the systems that worked for us as kids and adolescents just aren’t kicking it anymore. So we’ve got to update the system. The system though….doesn’t always like to be messed with. Remember that it has been operating in a certain way for a long, long time and it may have a hard time understanding your adult logic for wanting to switch things up.

How this looks IRL:

After your great achievements of receiving an education and starting your career, what’s next? Maybe you are struggling to find “your path”. The structure that once guided you to where you are today is no longer there, and all that lies in front of you seems like a lonely path.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way:

We know that we are “stuck” and don’t want to be any longer. So what are our options? Let’s try some things and switch it up.

Pause and breathe: For real. Right now. Stop reading this and pause. Close your eyes. Take a HUGE inhale and a huge exhale. Do this for as long as your body needs it.

Talk to a someone: Maybe its a family member, friend or your journal. Let out what is inside you. What you are experiencing is not crazy, is not abnormal and isn’t weird. You are experiencing it because it is what is. Let’s take some time to learn about why we are they way we are and spread that compassion to those parts of self that need it most. Get out of your head and let those words be said. We are not always the best people to talk to ourselves in all situations. We are often times much harsher to ourselves then we are to others.

Meditate: Use an app, go to a class, or simply just close your eyes and be still for 20 seconds. Take whatever step forward in the direction of learning more about meditation and mindfulness based practices and see if you want to integrate any fo those into your daily life.

Try counseling: Maybe you have never tried counseling before, or maybe it has just been years since you were forced to go as a kid or teenager. I believe that counseling can be different. Your decision to enter counseling at this time is for you, for your future, and for your personal growth. I am here to work alongside you to find better solutions to any negative patterns that continue to play out in your life.

Connect to something other then your phone: Maybe it is your breathe, nature, something spiritual, a God, just anything. Be intentional about changing up the routine and connecting with someone other then the usual (social media, Netflix, etc.).

I am Shannon Gonter and I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.

Shannon Gonter 10/7/20 Shannon Gonter 10/7/20

Anxiety Is Not Always As It Seems

People think that anxiety is having a panic attack or not liking big crowds. Well that is some of what anxiety is, but it’s so much more than that. It shows up in each and every one of our lives – but in very different ways and severity levels.

For individuals that steer towards perfectionism, our internal anxiety shows up differently externally and we are often praised for it. Therefore, sending messages to our anxiety that it is needed for our survival and needs to keep working overtime to keep us above water. From the outside we are seen as people who “have our shit together” are “always on time” and “are super organized” but on the inside we have a constant tummy ache, are crying in the bathroom at work, and have a difficult time turning off our brains and falling asleep.

Anxiety is a tricky thing – often wearing different masks and being quite sneaky in how it shows up in each of our lives.

Below are some of the most common polarizations from what people see (external) and what you feel (internal) experiences.

What people see: always on time

What you feel: instant tummy ache if I think I am going to be one minute late to something

What people see: strong work ethic

What you feel: fear of being fired over the littlest things and / or disappointing my boss

What people see: always in control

What you feel: something will go wrong if I do not do everything myself

What people see: good at planning

What you feel: I need to be prepared in case bad things X, Y or Z happens

What people see: always organized

What you feel: I have to be organized so I don’t get overwhelmed and have a meltdown

What people see: super helpful

What you feel: If I say “no” they will think that I don’t care about them

What people see: zen and relaxed

What you feel: if I do not meditate, do yoga, and breathe, I am going to lose my sh*t

What people see: self-assured

What you feel: “Do not listen to anxiety, you got this, you got this, you got this….”

What people see: calm and composed

What you feel: * Just finished crying in the bathroom… * “I can do this”

Give yourself some space to be both on time but to share that it causes you tummy aches, to be self assured but also know that you have anxious parts of self to be calm in the moment but know that you just got done crying in the bathroom. We all have LOTS of different parts inside of us, but often times we have a few that want to dominate and shine brightest. Create some space for the others.

Shannon Gonter 5/6/20 Shannon Gonter 5/6/20

Living Alone in times of COVID-19

Isolation is tough. Loneliness is difficult. Navigating both during the time of a global pandemic can be overwhelming. Learn the difference of isolation and loneliness in this post and assist yourself in igniting the healing process during times of COVID-19.

Thank you to YPAL for hosting this Instagram live interview and for all that you do for Louisville’s young professional community.

Question: I live alone and I am feeling really lonely, what can I do?

Oh yeah totally, great question. A lot of the population lives alone, and this can be an added struggle to the physical distancing we have going on and will be doing into the future.

One important thing to keep in mind is that there is a difference between isolation and loneliness. A lot of people use the words as one in the same, but they are quite different. Isolation is a physical state where loneliness is an emotional state.

So do an internal check in and see if you are feeling isolated or lonely.

Since loneliness is an emotion and emotions are fluid and come and go it is something that can fluctuate quite often. We can feel lonely while with a group of people, we can feel lonely when we are alone, we can feel lonely while with our families.

At the core of loneliness is the quality of the connection you have to self and others, not the quantity of interactions you have.

So, all though physical isolation can definitely bring on or heighten feelings of loneliness and make this experience feel a bit more complicated, they don’t have to come as a package deal. Thank goodness for the internet, good weather, resources and ways to connect with friends, family, strangers, and more because this can allow us to connect with ourselves and others during these times.

No human is perfect and one of the things we all have in common is our mental health. No one here is immune to mental health struggles and concerns. We all have had some degree of mental health symptoms (anxiety, depression, sadness, loneliness, fear, worry, phobias, etc….) present before COVID-19 but they were able to avoid and distract themselves or avoid these symptoms a lot easier than they are now because they were able to socialize in person, go to the gym, go to a bar, or whatever else they were doing.

Now since we have those outlets shut down or restricted, we cannot get too far from our own thoughts and are finding that we don’t know how to deal with these thoughts and feelings and COVID-19 and its uncertainty is exacerbating these.

Important to take note of your experiences and make sure you are keeping yourself safe. Reach out to a friend or a loved one and ask for help. Reach out to a medical or mental health professional for assistance. Call a hotline to ask questions and connect. A good hotline to call if you or someone you know is feeling unsafe due to a mental health crisis is 1-800-273-8255, or call 911, or go to your local hospital, The Brook, Peace Hospital (call before going in)

Suicide Risk factors:

· Previous suicide attempt / family hx of suicide

· Easy access to lethal means

· Lack of social support

· Stigma against talking about it and asking for help

· Substance use issues

· Impulsivity

· Previous trauma hx

Suicide Protective factors:

· Support from family, friends, medical professionals

· Coping skills

· Restricted access to lethal means

· Cultural and religious support

Questions to ask:

How are you coping with what's been happening in your life?
Do you ever feel like just giving up?
Are you thinking about dying?
Are you thinking about hurting yourself?
Are you thinking about killing yourself?
Have you ever thought about killing yourself before, or tried to harm yourself before?
Have you thought about how or when you'd do it?
Do you have access to weapons or things that can be used as weapons to harm yourself?
- People think that talking about suicide and killing yourself is going to make that individual do it more. That is false and research has proven it over and over again that talking about suicide and explicitly asking the questions of “do you think about killing yourself” grants that individual permission to be open and honest since you are the one who is being up front and bringing it into the conversation.
  - SAFETY is the number one thing here to keep in mind.What to do:

What to do:

· Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (Can call to ask questions, get support, connected to resources in your community, etc.)

· 911

· Go to your local hospital, The Brook, Peace Hospital (call before going in)

· Connect yourself or a loved one to a therapist

COVID-19 Resource Guide

Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC

Shannon Gonter, Professional Counseling in Louisville, KY

I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.