People think that anxiety is having a panic attack or not liking big crowds. Well that is some of what anxiety is, but it’s so much more than that. It shows up in each and every one of our lives – but in very different ways and severity levels.
For individuals that steer towards perfectionism, our internal anxiety shows up differently externally and we are often praised for it. Therefore, sending messages to our anxiety that it is needed for our survival and needs to keep working overtime to keep us above water. From the outside we are seen as people who “have our shit together” are “always on time” and “are super organized” but on the inside we have a constant tummy ache, are crying in the bathroom at work, and have a difficult time turning off our brains and falling asleep.
Anxiety is a tricky thing – often wearing different masks and being quite sneaky in how it shows up in each of our lives.
Below are some of the most common polarizations from what people see (external) and what you feel (internal) experiences.
What people see: always on time
What you feel: instant tummy ache if I think I am going to be one minute late to something
What people see: strong work ethic
What you feel: fear of being fired over the littlest things and / or disappointing my boss
What people see: always in control
What you feel: something will go wrong if I do not do everything myself
What people see: good at planning
What you feel: I need to be prepared in case bad things X, Y or Z happens
What people see: always organized
What you feel: I have to be organized so I don’t get overwhelmed and have a meltdown
What people see: super helpful
What you feel: If I say “no” they will think that I don’t care about them
What people see: zen and relaxed
What you feel: if I do not meditate, do yoga, and breathe, I am going to lose my sh*t
What people see: self-assured
What you feel: “Do not listen to anxiety, you got this, you got this, you got this….”
What people see: calm and composed
What you feel: * Just finished crying in the bathroom… * “I can do this”
Give yourself some space to be both on time but to share that it causes you tummy aches, to be self assured but also know that you have anxious parts of self to be calm in the moment but know that you just got done crying in the bathroom. We all have LOTS of different parts inside of us, but often times we have a few that want to dominate and shine brightest. Create some space for the others.
I am Shannon Gonter and I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.