Am I a Perfectionist?
What are the common characteristics of being a “perfectionist”. This post will detail some of the most poplar allowing you to look through them and see if any of them resonate with you.
Below are some characteristics of “perfectionist”. Look through them and see if any of them resonate with you.
FEAR OF FAILURE
You often stay in your lane and stick to what you know.
You are nervous that you will not be able to pick up a new task easily
Nervous that others will perceive you as a failure or you will let them down.
Mistakes often lead to judgment and criticism
Mistakes are not seen as learning opportunities.
You are risk adverse.
LOW SELF ESTEEM
You are self critical.
You have difficulties noticing and celebrating your successes.
You don’t feel fulfilled.
You don’t feel happy.
You feel lonely or isolated.
You believe that perfection leads to likability.
UNREALISTIC STANDARDS
You have very high standards for yourself.
You struggle when you/others make “stupid” mistakes.
Very difficult time when things do not go as planned.
Meeting goals = higher self worth (I am amazing…)
Not meeting goals = lower self worth (I am a shitty person…)
ALL OR NOTHING THINKING
Rigid thought pattern.
Little room for “gray area” thoughts.
Limited deviation on what is acceptable.
Anything less than “perfection” = failure
CRITICAL EYE
Have a difficult time pointing out the “positives” of something.
Sees spaces for improvement first.
Hard time accepting things as they are without improving them in your head.
Often see imperfections in self and others first.
“PUSH” VS “PULL” MENTALITY
High achievers may be pulled to their goals by an interest and desire to achieve.
But perfectionist are often pressured and pushed to their goals by a fear of not reaching them.
RESULTS FOCUSED
Often have tunnel vision.
Little room for anything “emotional” because it gets in the way.
Cannot see anything else but the goal to be reached.
Difficult time being present
DEFENSIVENESS
Often is defensive in response to comments and suggestions from others and do not take them as constructive criticism (because if you were perfect than others wouldn’t have to comment or suggest things to you).
PROCRASTINATION
The fear of failure will often immobilized perfectionist from even starting a task. Often making it hard to start projects or complete tasks on time (if you did not start something or “finish” it then it cannot be a true failure).
UNMET GOALS = BREAKDOWN
You do not bounce back quickly when goals are not met.
Often beat yourself up.
Take out anger on something/someone else.
Use this experience as fuel to “never let this happen again”.
If you connect with some or all of the above characteristics, that’s okay. You are not doomed. There are tips and tricks that can assist in altering your internal and external outlook on things and you can become a #recoveredperfectionist
Often times perfectionist just think they are high achievers and this is why they cannot get out of their own way and continue to feel stuck and unfulfilled. There is a difference between a high achiever and a perfectionist and you can shift between the two.
Written by Shannon Gonter
I specialize in working young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Why Men Should Do More Self-Care
Men should do more self care because they are humans and humans on this planet need to do more self care!
Why Men Should Do More Self-Care
First…
Self-care is intentional, necessary and caring for yourself. Self-care isn’t selfish, expensive (always), adding more of, or crisis management.
Learn what self-care is and isn’t here.
Second…
There are 8 different types of self-care (who knew there were so many)!
Physical, Psychological, Emotional, Social, Professional, Environmental, Spiritual, and Financial.
Learn more here.
Third…
Humans on this planet need to do more self care, and men are humans so…
But for real. Men. Self-care isn’t just for females, and its not just pedicures and bubble baths. You are a complex human being as well and need to care for your body inside and out.
Self-care…
Makes you healthier (physically and emotionally)
Allows you to perform better
Whips your mental health into shape
Allows you to be more present for yourself and your loved ones
Puts you in a position of being a good role model
Increases your levels of resilience
Decreases your stress levels
And many many more…
If you are having difficulties maintaining a “work life flow” and fitting in more time for yourself, schedule a free consultation with me to see if my services could be of any benefit to you.
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC, Counselor in Louisville, KY with Therapy by Shannon
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
How To Fit Self Care Into Your Already Busy Day
I get it your busy. Maybe you feel like there is barely enough time to catch a breath throughout the day or take a bathroom break let alone think about or schedule in some self-care. Reminder: the point of self-care is not to add more things onto your schedule, to do list or to stress you out. It is to create and allow some space and time for you and your needs so you can show up and be more present, focused and ready to tackle those items that are on your schedule. Tips & Tricks to fitting it all in…
4 Ways To Insert Self-Care Into Your Already Jam Packed Schedule
I get it you are busy.
Maybe you feel like there is barely enough time to catch a breath throughout the day or take a bathroom break let alone think about or schedule in some self-care.
Reminder: the point of self-care is not to add more things onto your schedule, to do list or to stress you out. It is to create and allow some space and time for you and your needs so you can show up and be more present, focused and ready to tackle those items that are on your schedule.
Tips & Tricks to fitting it all in…
1. Start With Your Needs
What do you need more of in your life? What do you need less of in your life? What needs are you looking to meet with self-care? What is the thing you need most in your life right now? Answers sometimes include, but are not limited to relaxation, quietness, connection, stability, love, energy, etc.
2. Think Micro NOT Macro
Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive, or involve you spending hours at the gym or at the spa. Instead of doing large chunks of self-care all the time, break it down into more digestible chunks so it can be squeezed into your day to day schedule. Having a spa day, taking a mini day trip, and working out are all great “macro” self-care items, and you should still focus energy on those, but just not all your energy. Allow yourself to explore with “micro” self-care items such as: surrounding yourself with positive post it notes or messages, closing your eyes and counting to ten before starting your car to drive home, standing up and stretching at your desk, get outside during your lunch break, actually take a lunch break, when you feel the urge to go to the bathroom go use the restroom (stop holding it in!), walk around your office building, wear clothes that make you happy, drink water throughout your day, smile, etc.
3. Set Boundaries And Stick To Them
Saying “no” isn’t easy (for you or those around you) but it can be such a great self-care tactic to integrate into your life. If we are usually the one to say “yes” to all, we will receive some push back from those around us once we set certain boundaries and start sticking to them. But what is gained from this is an immense amount of appropriate power and self-love for out wants, needs and abilities. Remember that the world isn’t going anywhere and that it will still be there for you when you are done taking time for yourself.
4. Take A Lunch Break (I mean it!)
Not a working lunch break, not a lunch break where you are listening to or reading up on business related items, and not a 5-minute lunch break where you shovel your food into your mouth at your desk while answering emails. A real lunch BREAK. Leave your workstation and let yourself decompress. We all don’t have the luxury of having a true hour lunch break, but if you do, USE IT! If you don’t, be creative and find a way to turn off your work brain and pop in a true crime podcast, your favorite Spotify playlist or something else that interests you.
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others. Learn more here.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Self-Care Suggestions For Men
Detailed suggestions for self care items that can easily be integrated into the day to day schedule of any man.
Make time for yourself
Brush your teeth at least twice a day
Take a shower on a regular basis
Get a massage
Get a pedicure or manicure (not just for the females out there…we all have hands, feet and nails that don’t like being neglected)
Meditate (on your own, with an app, on YouTube, in a class…)
Journal about your day. Check out my weekly journal prompts for inspiration.
Read anything. Nowadays no one reads anything so take some time to intentionally read a book, a blog, an article, anything.
Engage with others
Volunteer your time with your job, professional groups, community, church, friends, family etc. Doesn’t have to be a long-term commitment (unless you want it to be) but it could be as simple as volunteering to bake for the cookie sale, or to assist with carpool duties.
Make time for yourself and others. Simply put.
Avoid toxic people in real life and online.
Goof off when you can. You can do it alone, with your partner, kids, or friends.
Socialize on a regular basis. This may look like a more formal night out with friends, but it can also just be intentionally striking up a conversation with the individual checking you out at the grocery store.
Embrace health
What are you doing with your body? Make sure to exercise on a regular basis. This could be for 10 minutes or this could be for an hour. Just commit to sweating and understand that sweating doesn’t have to just happen at the gym. It can happen on a walk, mowing your lawn, washing the car, playing with your children, decluttering the basement, etc.
Be aware of what you are putting into your body. Not asking you to completely change your habits but just to bring awareness to what you put into your body on a regular basis. Do you eat fast food a lot? Do you have a tendency to pick the greasiest items on the menu when eating out? Are you getting enough nutrition from your foods for your body? Do you drink alcohol or do drugs? If so, how often? Educate yourself on the impacts these habits have on the body and your goals and if you are wanting to change your relationship with food, alcohol, drugs, etc. then find the right support and environment to do that in.
Drink water. Lots of water. All day, every day. Mayo clinic suggests that men drink 15.5 cups of water a day.
Get regular sleep. The average adult should sleep between 7-8 hoursa night.
Accept that bodily, mental, and emotional changes occur as you grow older.
Find passion and connection
Go home to your family, to your pet to your plants or to your couch. Setting appropriate boundaries with work is crucial self-care and vital to finding a good “work life flow”.
Learn to say “no” and set boundaries (and sticking to them) with yourself, at work, or in your relationships.
Pursue a new hobby or pick up a old one.
Know your burnout signs
Know stressors in your life and what to do when they pop up.Common stressors could be working long hours, discrimination, financial hardship, pleasing your partner, maintaining your household, etc.
Write a priority based ‘to do’ list to avoid getting overwhelmed by the demands of the daily grind.
Have a positive outlook on the situation at hand.
Identify and challenge your negative thinking patterns. This may be in the form of negative self-talk.
Ask for help. In a big way or a small way. Just reach out to someone for something.
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counseling in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Why Young Adults Should Do More Self-Care
We need to find the time because with increased self-care in our lives comes increased productivity, burnout prevention, stress reduction, increasing our physical health and our knowledge of self.
Young adults should do more self-care because they are humans, and humans in our society don’t do enough self-care. But more specifically young adulthood is a time period where a lot of exciting things are happening and we can often be forgetful that in order to have enough energy to be present during these transitions, events, parties, promotions, etc we have to be in the right headspace.
Hint hint we usually aren’t because we have so many exciting things going on… who has time to hit pause?!
We need to find the time because with increased self-care in our lives comes increased productivity, burnout prevention, stress reduction, increasing our physical health and our knowledge of self.
Increased productivity
A big self-care strategy is learning how to say “no” to things (professionally or socially) and once we learn to say “no” we are able to intentionally focus and make more time for what really matters. Therefore, allowing us to be more productive at the tasks that truly matter.
Prevents burnout
You push, push, push until you have nothing else to give. We’ve all been there and surely don’t want to go back there. Consistent self-care can assist us in not turning into our burnt out selves. Remember self-care isn’t an emergency tactic and should be used on a regular basis.
Reduced stress
The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is activated during most self-care items which puts our bodies in a restful mode, therefore lowering stress levels and increasing our ability to remain calm for longer periods of time in the future.
Better physical health
Similar to the points made above, when we integrate self-care into our day to day life, we open the door to a healthier lifestyle. By clearing out space internally (reducing stress, setting more appropriate boundaries, etc.) we make room to better care for our physical bodies as well. Creating the space for us to make sure we are eating on a regular schedule, getting enough sleep, moving your body on a regular basis, and seeking preventative health care (therefore reducing our chances of catching a cold, getting the flu or becoming ill).
Helps you refocus
Practicing healthy self-care throughout your days is essentially taking little brain breaks. By allowing your brain to have a micro break (deep breathing and counting to 10) or a macro break (scheduling a massage) you are allowing your mind and body to reset. This reset allows you to start fresh and strengthens your ability to focus on day to day tasks.
Increased self-knowledge
Part of self-care means knowing yourself, your passions and what you like. If you don’t know this and are just “doing” self-care, it is going to feel like you are just adding more things onto your to do list and it’s going to feel more like a chore and be more of a strain to your life then an additive.
DO MORE SELF-CARE
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counseling in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Self-Care Suggestions For Young Adults
Detailed suggestions for self care items that can easily be integrated into the day to day schedule of any young adult.
Stretch
Don’t even need to get up to do this one. Literally just stretch your arms up like you are going to touch the ceiling and lean over to the right and then to the left. Maybe forward and maybe backwards a little.
Walk
Either an intentional walk in the AM or PM or even just a small choice throughout your day to take the stairs instead of the elevator, or maybe walking around your building while on break.
Run
No matter for how long or for how short. Get out there (or in there for you treadmill runners) and get your sweat on!
Sit still
Literally. Sit still. Do nothing. Focus on nothing. For those of you trying it now…harder than it seems, huh? We all know that practice makes perfect, so keep doing it bit by bit and it’ll get easier!
Sunshine
Soak it up! If you are inside a majority of your day make sure to spend some extra time in the sun while walking to your car. The sunshine has so many natural helpers in its rays and we need to soak up all that we can (as long as we are wearing our SPF)!
Breathe
Like duh. We are all breathing. But be intentional with your breathes. Focus on your inhales and exhales. Try and do this at least 10 seconds a day. If you have an Apple Watch or a smartphone you can download apps and set timers to remind you to mindfully breathe.
Cloud watch
Don’t have to lay on the ground and stare at the sky for hours (unless you want to do that) but maybe just taking a moment on your walk around Cherokee Park to sit on the bench and look at the sky for a bit or even on your walk to your car after a long day of work – pause and take in the views of the sky before hustling to your next location.
Nap
Try taking a 10 to 30-minute nap. Don’t be fooled by the short time frame, short naps can do wonders.
Eat slowly
Though you may be STARVING, don’t scarf your food down. Be intentional about what you are putting on your utensil and slow down the time it takes for the food to get to your mouth from the plate.
Walk around barefoot
Ground yourself with the earth. Either in your yard, at a park, beach or lake, etc.
Change the way you make choices
Don’t always let your automatic thoughts and patterns take over. For example, if you usually plan your dinners around what is leftover in your fridge, try to be more intentional and plan your meals throughout your week.
Fix a small annoyance
That shower curtain rod that keeps falling down in the bathroom. Fix it. Fix it now and enjoy knocking off that one small annoyance.
Be selfish
Do one thing a day that makes you happy.
Start a compliments file
Only compliments about yourself can go in this file so spend some time writing about yourself and then spend some more time reading about yourself weeks later.
Declutter
Something, anything, everything. The apps on your phone, your computer files, your car, closet, desk, room, or house, etc.
Unplug
From all digital devices. Maybe it is only for 30 minutes or maybe it is for an entire day. Spend some quality time with yourself and/or loved ones without the distraction of technology.
Unfollow
Unhelpful people on social media.
Follow
Helpful people on social media.
Read
Anything. Nowadays we are so used to skimming everything we see. Take some time to focus in on one blog, article, book, comic, anything and really read it!
Help someone
Open a door for someone, carry a bag, or mow your neighbor’s lawn. Do something else for someone else.
Take another driving route to work
By switching up your normal routine in the slightest way it will create new neural pathways in your brain to assist keeping it healthy.
Pet an animal
Let yourself stop in the park and pet that cute pup (of course ask the owner first).
Splurge
Every once in a while, on something that you have had your eye on.
Spa
Let yourself R E L A X at the spa one day. Treat yourself to a massage, facial, mud bath, pedicure and all the above.
Journal
Write down your thoughts and leave your filters and judgments at the door. Allow this to be a total brain dumb. Some days it might be an entire page and others it may be 2 sentences. Either way it is beneficial for you to get those thoughts out of your head! Prompts here.
Meditation
Doesn’t have to be long. Set the timer for 1 minute and bring your awareness to your thoughts, feelings and sensations. You can also try a longer guided meditation. Check out free resources here.
Ask for help
In a big way or a small way. Just reach out to someone for something.
Goof off
Let your hair down. Allow yourself to play with your partner, friends, kids, coworkers…
Say “no”
Setting boundaries (and sticking to them) with yourself, at work, or in your relationships.
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counseling in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Therapy Questions Answered
Interview with Brittany Johnson a licensed professional counseling in New Albany, Indiana and Shannon Gonter a licensed professional clinical counselor in Louisville, KY. Discuss the ins and outs of what counseling is, how to find a counselor, different ways of paying for counseling, and what to do if you feel like you and your counselor aren’t a good fit.
Transcript-
Shannon Gonter:
Hey everyone. I'm Shannon Gonter, a licensed professional counselor, practicing in private practice in Louisville, Kentucky and today I'm here to interview Brittany Johnson. If you want to go ahead and introduce yourself.
Brittany Johnson:
Hi everybody, my name is Brittany A. Johnson. I am a licensed mental health counselor in New Albany, Indiana. That's where my private practice is. I am also the author of a book titled, Get Out of Your Own Way, and I am glad to be here with you, Shannon today.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, well we're just going to answer some questions that I know are always floating around about mental health counseling and just kind of break down some of the basics and barriers for people who are thinking about counseling or want to just know more about it. So, let's just start out with what is therapy?
Brittany Johnson:
All right. So to me, therapy is going to see someone or seeing someone on your computer or over the phone, and it's a professional who has went through training and education. And they are going to give you a non-biased, nonjudgmental listening ear. Going to therapy, also, in my opinion, is someone who is trained to help you sort through anything that's cluttered in your mind, anything going on in your life; past, present, future.
And so to me, that's what therapy is just going to see someone that is going to give you an objective view of what you're saying and what you're doing and help you reach goals that you've established or help you clear out things that have got you stuck or you've experienced in your past.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, definitely. And you talked a little bit about the education. There's lots of different letters that come after all of our names. For example, I'm a licensed professional clinical counselor, so that's LPCC in the state of Kentucky. And then what license are you?
Brittany Johnson:
My license in Indiana is a licensed mental health counselor, which is the equivalent of an LPCC in Kentucky, or an LPC in Illinois, or LPC in Ohio.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, yeah. What are some other letters that people might see behind people's names that would be licensed therapists?
Brittany Johnson:
Yeah. Typically, the most common one that you typically see, is a licensed clinical social worker or LCSW. And then an LMFT, which is a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well. So those are the common ones that you see for masters level. Now when you start talking about doctorate level therapists, you'll see a [inaudible 00:02:40] which are licensed clinical psychologist. And then PhD is also one that I've started to see a little bit lately, which are traditional PhD degrees in counseling, or whatnot. I forgot about the drug and alcohol certificate. There's also, I think it's, LACD or LDC. Sorry, [inaudible 00:03:02] a little bit. It's different in each state, but it's the licensed drug and alcohol counselors.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, definitely. And then, the MDs are nurse practitioners of psychiatrists or practitioners who are going to be the ones prescribing medications. Definitely a difference between individuals who prescribe the medications and people who do talk therapy. And then, so if I'm a client looking to do therapy with someone, are there different like modalities or theories that different therapists work from? And what may work best with my personality or maybe my presenting an issue that I'm struggling with?
Brittany Johnson:
Yes, definitely. One of the things I don't think I mentioned in my introduction, but I am certified in EMDR, which is the eye movement desensitization reprocessing therapy. So with EMDR, that modality, we believe that you work from a negative belief system, and that your negative belief system has overtaken the positive belief system, and it has caused you to have things that you've experienced or thoughts that you have, that get stuck in your neuro networks. And we work to help you reprocess those and get those things unstuck. And then also, help you strengthen and increase your positive belief neuro networks. And then, there's also traditionally cognitive behavioral therapy, which is very common. And most therapists will say that that's their modality of comfort, or that that's the way that they view helping change clients perspectives. And so, with cognitive behavioral, it's definitely one where they really look at what are you thinking? So cognitive cognitions, what are your thoughts? Are they distorted thoughts, which means that they keep you stuck. Again, kind of like EMDR. And then you learn to challenge and replace them with thoughts that are positive or helpful, as I like to call them. And so, I also use CBT, as well. And then there's DBT, which I think is dialect ... I can never say that word. There we go. And so, that really starts talking about emotional responses, and emotional regulation, and things like that, to help people function in life and live successfully. Those are the common ones that I see. Psychoanalytic, as well, which I haven't seen too many people advertise as being psychoanalytic therapists anymore, but that's traditional Freud, if you know anything about psychology.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, yeah. There's tons of different modalities and theories out there, which I'd say from a client's perspective, it can get pretty overwhelming. And so, through lots of research and lots of things throughout the years of psychology, they've pretty much proven that the relationship is the biggest part of the client/therapist work that people see progress out of. And so, if your a client, and you're getting super overwhelmed by all these letters and all these credentials and all these things, that's okay. You don't really have to focus in on that too much. That's part of the therapist's job. But to even get to this space as a client, how do people even find a therapist if they know counseling is something they want to integrate into their life or try?
Brittany Johnson:
Definitely. I always tell people a Google search is your first go-to. It's your favorite, or the easiest. And so, you can type "licensed therapists near me" in your Google search bar and it will come up a list of therapists that are in your area or people who have identified themselves as therapists in your area. Psychology Today is still one of the biggest search engines or search bars for a licensed therapist. There are psychologists on there that are licensed clinical social workers. There's LPCC, there's LMHCs. We are all on Psychology Today. And then, if you are looking for something more specific, there is a site for people of color. It's called Therapy for Black Girls. It's a directory of all clinicians of color or female clinicians of color for people to search. And then there is one noun, and you'd have to search therapy for LGBTQ, but there's actually a website that is just dedicated for therapy for people who identify as LGBTQ. And so, any clinician that's on that directory has already been vetted and markets themselves as being friendly to that community, educated on that community, and ready to serve that community. So, those are the top three sites that I've typically sent people to when they're looking for therapy.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, those are all really good ones. One, and I can't remember the name of that one either for the LBGTQ community, but it is really great. And they have tons of physicians and other providers on there, too. I can't think of the name. Another one that I typically mention as well, and we'll kind of get into this in a little bit, is for individuals who struggle financially to pay for counseling. There's the Open Path Collective that is really good. How it works as a client is, you pay a lifetime membership fee to be an Open Path client and then you have access to a full network of therapists nationwide. And so, of course, if you live in Mobile, you're not going to see a therapist in San Francisco. But if you ever happened to move to San Francisco, you would be able to have access to this Open Path therapist, as well. And as an Open Path client, you're able to receive therapy for affordable prices. So, that can be really helpful for people who do have financial hardships, because therapy, of course, is a financial commitment on clients and as well as a personal and time commitment, too. And so, segwaying into that, how do people pay for therapy? Or what are all the options, I suppose.
Brittany Johnson:
Right. Luckily, we have the act that was passed by President Bush that made mental health be equal to physical health with your insurance, with your employer, and on insurance companies. So if you have a full time job or part time job that has medical benefits, you very likely also have mental health benefits. So that is kind of your first go-to is to check your insurance provider and see does your plan cover mental and behavioral health? So that's one way that you can go and if that is the case, each of those insurance companies have a directory of therapists, as well. And then Psychology Today, and then, typical websites, a lot of therapists list what insurances they accept on there, too. So, that's one way that you can do it. There is a private pay. You find a therapist. So let's say you decided to call Shannon because you saw her website and everything she had on there just really spoke to you, so you call her and you say, "Hey, I don't have insurance. I'd like to come." That means you are taking on the full financial responsibility to pay whatever fee Shannon has developed or determined for seeing clients. I have a lot of clients that do like to come and do private pay, and it is an investment in your health. But the way we talk about it is, you make investments on all types of things. If you like to go to Starbucks, that's an investment in your Starbucks' taste, right? If you like to buy shoes, that's an investment in your shoe collection. And so, mental health is the same way, if you were going to a spa. Then there's also, as Shannon mentioned, Open Path. There are some people who do, and I don't think we mentioned this yet, but there are some new ways and means to get therapy through online or tele-health. So there are places like Talkspace and BetterHelp. So for Talkspace, I know I've done a little bit of research on them. You pay a fee every month and then you get access to a therapist via your phone and your computer. So you never physically go to an office, you just do texts and video chats that way. So, that's kind of ways people pay. Going back to your employer, if you have an HSA or an FSA card, so a flexible spending account, you can use those to pay for therapy, as well. And many therapists take all sorts of means and methods of payment.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, definitely. What if you're on on a therapist's site and they say I'm an out-of-network provider or an in-network provider. What do those terminologies mean?
Brittany Johnson:
Definitely. So, in-network provider means that that therapist has signed a contract with your insurance company, and they have agreed to only charge a certain amount of money per session. And then you would pay your copay or coinsurance, meaning whatever you split with your insurance company on medical bills, is the same way for mental health. So that's the in-network. So that means that you'll go see that therapist, they will collect your copay and then they will submit a claim to the insurance company on your behalf. And all you have to do is come in, be seen, and pay your copay. For out-of-network, there are some therapists who do submit those claims, as well. But I'll get into that in a second. But out-of-network means I do not have a contract with your insurance company, so I can charge you my full fee, which ranges in this area from anywhere from $60 to $250. So depending on the therapist and their experience, they set their fees. An out-of-network therapist is going to charge you their fee. So let's say our fee, Shannon and I have agreed that we both are going to charge people $100 per session. As the out-of-network therapist, I will collect the $150 from you. And then I will give you a piece of paper for you to submit to your insurance. Or again, like I mentioned a little while ago, there are some therapists who go ahead and submit those claims for you on your behalf. I, in my practice, I do not do that. I leave that up to the client. If they want to see me as an out-of-network, I will give them, it's called a super bill, but it's a piece of paper that says you paid me this amount of money so that you can submit to your insurance company and get reimbursement.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah. Yeah. And the super bills are really great. I have a lot of clients that use them and some people are getting reimbursed close to 80% of my fee. And so, it can be really helpful. And even if you're getting reimbursed about 10%, that's 10% you're getting back for taking that time to spend to better yourself. So, that can be really helpful.
Brittany Johnson:
Definitely.
Shannon Gonter:
And then, what about if people see private pay and sliding scale on someone's website? What does sliding scale mean?
Brittany Johnson:
Sliding scale means the therapist has decided that they're going to offer a lower rate for clients who have certain financial needs. And so, for sliding scale, most therapists if they offer that, they will ask you about your income. So, they are going to ask you questions about how much you make. And then they will determine how much of their fee they're going to waive to see you. When I first became a therapist in private practice, I did sliding scale only. I had some people who were only paying me $30 a session and then other people paying me $85 a session. I really found joy in being able to do that, being able to help therapists who other ... I'm sorry, clients who otherwise wouldn't have been able to seek therapy. But it is a courtesy from your clinician to do that.
Shannon Gonter:
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Very much so. Okay. So as a client, done all of that, started therapy, found a therapist that we researched a lot, and we're kind of excited to go see. And then we're four sessions in and that excitement is dying off, or we're not really feeling that comfortable with this individual. What are our options? Or what do we do?
Brittany Johnson:
So options, you are in total control of how that that goes. So, you can stop going completely and never say anything to the therapist. Please don't do that. You can let the therapist know like, "Hey, I was really excited in the beginning but now I'm not really feeling like things are changing or things are progressing." Or you can start looking for another therapist and just start going to someone else. So even before you get to that point, and you kind of mentioned you've researched the website, you have decided on a person, most therapists offer a free 15 to 30-minute consultation. What that means is, the therapist has decided, I want to make sure that we are a good fit for each other, so I'm going to give you a free phone call. Or some of them actually do face-to-face. I'm going to give you a free ... I'm going to give you some of my time for free so that you can ask me questions and we can talk on the phone or talk face-to-face, to make sure we are actually a fit for each other. I think it's very important that anybody looking for therapy, that you use at consultation, because sometimes we have things written on our websites that sound great. And then when you go meet the person in face-to-face, none of that is matching, for whatever reason. Or they may have a belief about how to help you that you don't believe in. So I remember one time, I'll tell this quick story, I had a client. They saw my website, really wanted to come. They came in, and I didn't have a picture on my website. And so, this person made the comment, "You look way too young to be able to help me." We did the session because they came, and the entire session I could tell that it just was not going to work. So at the end of the session I was like, "You know what? I don't think this is going to work because it seems very important for you to have someone who looks older. So let me help you find someone that looks older." And so, what I know in hindsight is, I wish we would've had a conversation on the phone because we probably could have avoided all of that and it wasn't a waste of my time, but they really felt like they wasted an hour of their time coming to the appointment. So use the consultation, ask the questions that are important to you in terms of changing in your life and reaching your goals, and then go make the appointment.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really good point. Yeah, that is something that one is always awkward, too, of like oh, let's get on a phone with a stranger and tell them why we want to go to counseling. But that is a total normal process of finding a therapist or a counselor. And also, the true meaning of there is no stupid question. Take that time to question the therapist. And in a sense, again, you are in the power seat here. Interview them, in a sense, personality wise or are different things like that that you think are going to show up in the room and maybe are going to be a conflict for you. And typically, people who have been in counseling before, sometimes the process looks a little bit different for them. So if you are, first time seeking a therapist and on that consultation call, it's totally normal for that therapist to ask you a couple times, do you have any questions for me? Because you're supposed to be able to use this time to mutually decide on each other.
Brittany Johnson:
Yes, yes. And if this is your first time or even if it's not your first time, but you've had some really rough times with therapists, think about therapy in a sense of you are going to have some of the most intimate conversations you'll probably ever have in your life. Not intimate sexually, because that's inappropriate and shouldn't be happening, but intimate in terms of this person is going to dig into you and dig into your life in a way to help you, but they need to know how you work, how you function, how you think. So they're going to be asking some pretty intimate, detailed questions. So when you're on the phone with this person, do you get the sense that you can handle it, and they can handle it, so to speak. Because there are some things that we just, you know, as therapists we know we're not comfortable with, and as clients, we know we wouldn't be comfortable saying certain things to certain therapists.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, definitely. And then, I know a lot of therapists do this, and I personally do it in my practice, of the first three or so sessions I have with a client, I'm always reminding them, hey, it's totally normal. If after the third session or first session or 40th session you're not feeling it, that's okay. I know tons of other therapists in and around Louisville that I would be happy to refer you to. Because again, as a therapist, our goal is to make you the most comfortable and the most safe in the room. So if, for whatever reason, we're not going to take it personal, if you want a referral to another therapist, that's our role is to provide you with that safety. And so, it's very common within the therapist community to refer to other therapists. Just part of our career.
Brittany Johnson:
Definitely, definitely. And it's okay. And you know, I tell clients kind of in that sense, the very first session we're kind of going over the rules of our relationship and things like that. One of the things that I say to every client that comes in is, if you don't do anything else in this process, I need you to tell me if I'm not working for you. Because there's no sense in you continuing to schedule an appointment, drive over here, come sit in here, take time out of your life, if it's not working. That's the only rule I make in terms of what I require.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, totally. To kind of wrap it up in a sense. What do you feel like is something that'd be really helpful for someone toying with these decisions now? Maybe they've had friends or family that have been in counseling before, it's been on their radar, but really in the background, for so long. But now, they're kind of feeling like, okay, maybe I need to make a decision about this counseling thing. What's something that you feel like could be really helpful for them to hear?
Brittany Johnson:
You deserve. That's kind of my go-to. As a person who was born as a human, you deserve peace, you deserve love, you deserve happiness. I know those typically sound cliche, but you deserve everything that you want out of life. And so, if there is something that's holding you back, whether it be something from your past, whether it be a current fear, or current situation, you deserve to have that cleared up so that you can live the life that you dream about, the life that you want. And I don't mean that in sense of you're going to wake up after going to therapy and have $1 million and live on the beach for life. That's not what I mean. I just mean that you deserve to have freedom to go after something like that, because if that's your goal, then let's see what we can do to get you there.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah, definitely. Oh, I love that. Yeah, you deserve. It's so simple and sweet but so helpful. Brittany thanks for hanging out with me today. I really appreciate you taking the time, of course, out of your busy day, but also, just to clear up some of those unknowns that a lot of people have about the therapy process.
Brittany Johnson:
Definitely. Thanks for having me. This was fun. We have to do this again.
Shannon Gonter:
Yeah. Oh, definitely. Okay. Talk soon.
Brittany Johnson:
Bye everybody.
Shannon Gonter, LPCC
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
What Self-care Is and Is Not
Self-care is intentional, necessary and caring. Self-care isn’t selfish, expensive, adding more of, or crisis management.
Self-care is…
Intentional…
Time set aside for you to focus on you. Uh yah duh. But honestly all of us would probably answer “yes” to the question of “do you care for yourself” but those same people who answered yes to that question would probably be stumped by the question “how do you care for yourself on a day to day basis”.
Necessary…
For survival as a human living in our high-pressured culture. It should be something that “refuels us, rather than takes from us” as Agnes Wainman stated. If going for a walk in your “self-care” for the day but you dread it every day and cancel on yourself most days, that isn’t self-care. That is a chore.
Caring…
Taking care of your mental, emotional and physical health is what self-care is grounded in. We often forget to slow down and care for ourselves throughout our busy days of caring for others or knocking things off the ‘to do’ list.
Self-care is not…
Selfish…
In order to do it we do need to consider our needs, and this commonly gets mixed up with selfishness. But remember that we often need to do a better job at caring for ourselves so we can take better care of and model for others how to do the same for themselves. Meaning; if you don’t care for yourself appropriately, you will not be in the place to care for your loved ones either.
Expensive…
I mean some self-care items can be expensive and most commonly we think about getting massages, going on a retreat or getting our nails done as ‘self-care’. But there are so many self-care items we can do throughout our days that are free (going for a walk, setting boundaries with work or a friend, drinking water throughout the day, brushing our teeth multiple times a day…).
Adding more of…
You shouldn’t be forcing yourself to do self-care. It shouldn’t be something you are dreading doing at the beginning or end of your busy day. It should be intentionally integrated throughout and bring joy to your day.
Crisis management…
Not intended to only be used when you are “super stressed” or “burned out”. Self-care items should be integrated into your days and routine to AVOID getting to those high levels of stress and that lead to emotional and physical burn out.
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC, NCC
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Different Types of Self Care
There are 8 common categories that self-care typically falls under. They will be identified and defined in this blog and you will be provided with examples that can be easily brought into your life.
There are 8 common categories that self-care typically falls under. They will be identified and defined in this blog and you will be provided with examples that can be easily brought into your life.
Physical
Involves movement, health, sleep, diet, touch and intimacy.
Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner (everyday)
Eat healthier
Exercise
Get medical care for prevention
Seek medical care when needed
Take time off work
Get a massage
Get enough sleep
Take a nap
Wear clothes you like and feel good in
Take a day trip or mini vacation
Dance
Swim
Walk
Run
Play
Be sexual (with yourself or partner/partners)
Psychological
Involved learning something new, thinking, engaging motivation from within, expression through creativity and intentionality.
Allow yourself time to self-reflect on an event, your day, or your life
Find a counselor
Journal
Read something that is non school/work related
Let others see different aspects of yourself
Be curious
Say “no” to extra responsibilities
Put your phone down and do a “digital detox”
Listen to your thoughts, beliefs, judgements, attitudes, and feelings (your inner dialogue)
Emotional
Enhances emotional literacy, assists one in navigating emotions, increasing empathy, managing stress more effectively, and develop compassion for self and others.
Spend time with those who you enjoy
Stay in contact with people from your past
Love yourself
Play
Express your outrage in social action, letters, donations, volunteering, marches, protests…
Allow yourself to cry
Be aware of your own boundaries
Journal (focused on gratitude)
Social
Individuals that are in your life that you trust and can turn to when needed. Allows you to feel connected to others.
Go meet new people
Volunteer
Do intramural sports league
Ask for help when needed
Join a committee or networking community outside of work
Maintain boundaries with others
Be consistent and honor your commitments made (do what you say you are going to do)
Professional
Maintaining clear professional boundaries, sharing your strengths and talents, and living your life and following your passions outside of work.
Remind yourself that you can negotiate for your needs to be met
Eat a full meal at lunch away from your desk
Set and maintain clear professional boundaries (not responding to emails on your lunch break)
Take part in professional development opportunities
Be clear on your roles and responsibilities for your day to day
Environmental
Clean, clutter free, organized work, business and personal environment.
Cleaning your clothes on a regular basis
Cleaning your dishes on a regular basis
Decluttering your house
Taking care of your car
Recycling when you can
Not littering
Monitoring your technology time
Spiritual
Beliefs and values that guide you and that are important to your life.
Spend time with nature
Find a spiritual connection or community
Be aware of nonmaterial aspects of life
Try to NOT be the expert at times
Be open to not knowing things
Make time for reflection
Identify what is meaningful to you
Listen to inspirational things
Read inspirational literature
Meditate
Go on a retreat
Financial
Being responsible with your finance and having a conscious relationship with money.
Knowing how much income is coming in
Knowing what your expenses are
Knowing how much your expenses are on a month to month basis
Keeping all insurances up to date
Completing taxes on time, and responsibly
Saving money for near future items or vacations
Saving money for far away future endeavors
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC, NCC
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Meditate To Hear The Silence
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation: thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
1. Find a quiet space
2. Sit or lie down and get comfortable
3. Close your eyes
4. Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
5. Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allowing it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts and return your focus back to your breath.
a. Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add one more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
Humans are natural problem solvers so when we feel an emotion that we do not understand, we want to figure out why it is there, what it is rooted in and how we are get rid of it. We do this by analyzing our thoughts and actions, venting and talking to friends and family, and maybe even talking with a professional counselor. The troublesome thing is that sometimes after doing all of that, we still feel stumped by our emotions and haven’t fully cracked the code on them.
This can be frustrating (of course) and leave us feeling ineffective and like we don’t have control of what’s going on inside of it. What I am going to suggest is to STOP. Dont do what you usually do. Dont go down that investigative crime stopper path and just be still. Hear the silence.
Since childhood a majority of us were taught to fill moments of silence with something (speech, action, moving your gaze…). This was either directly told to us as children or it was modeled to us by society and those around us. Very few times in our day to day are we in silence and typically when we do get to a silent space, we pick up our phones out of distraction, boredom or maybe even insecurity.
So for most silence isn’t something you are going to welcome with open arms. It is going to be awkward, or uncomfortable or make you feel like you just want to crawl out of your own skin; but hang in there and overtime you will learn to love, grown and thrive within the silence. No longer needing to reach for that distraction and able to be with external stillness and find relief in the internal stillness.
What meditation can do is assist you in using the stillness and silence to open yourself up to being comfortable within the quietness and help you find your truth and maybe even those answers you are longing for. You will be surprised where you mind goes when you are safe and in true silence.
Try It Out:
Being Comfortable With Silence – Guided Meditation – Listen Here
Inner Calm Deep Relaxation – Listen Here
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Meditate To Help Your Thoughts Go By Easily
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation: thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
1. Find a quiet space
2. Sit or lie down and get comfortable
3. Close your eyes
4. Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
5. Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allowing it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts and return your focus back to your breath.
a. Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add one more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
thought
\ ˈthȯt \
Definition of thought
(Entry 1 of 2)
1: something that is thought: such as
a: an individual act or product of thinking
b: a developed intention or plan had no thought of leaving home
c: something (such as an opinion or belief) in the mind he spoke his thoughts freely
d: the intellectual product or the organized views and principles of a period, place, group, or individual
We have thoughts all day everyday. It is one of the functions (and a very important one) of our story telling brains.
Thoughts are typically helpful to us in our day to day lives but they can also be the fuel to anxiety, stress and other uncomfortable emotions. The harder we think about it (trying to ignore it usually); the more anxiety floods our minds and bodies. This process usually frustrates us and therefore sending us down another rabbit hole.
Sometimes to avoid that hole, it may help to focus your attention elsewhere, but there are times that our emotions have completely taken over and feels as if we don’t have control to focus our attention elsewhere and during these times is when meditation might be helpful in dealing with your thoughts and allowing them to go by.
Instead of trying to change where your mind is, try to shift how you view that emotion. For example, try to picture that emotion in your minds eye. Maybe it looks like a big storm cloud that downpours on your entire day. That sure doesn’t sound like fun. So during the meditation let’s try to clear, alter or shift that image. Maybe figuring out how it can look more like a light airy breeze that periodically comes by and chills you. What needs to happen within that picture to turn a storm into an inconsistent breeze? How can the scenery be shifted and changed to make it more welcoming? Mind seem a bit abstract in the moment, but a regular meditation practice can aid you in being able to do this with more ease.
Try it out now:
Free Your Mind – Guided Meditation – Listen Here
Guided Meditation – Quiet Mind For Anxiety And Negative Thoughts – Listen Here
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Meditate To Allow Emotion
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation: thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
1. Find a quiet space
2. Sit or lie down and get comfortable
3. Close your eyes
4. Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
5. Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allowing it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts and return your focus back to your breath.
a. Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add one more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
emotion
emo·tion | \ i-ˈmō-shən \
Definition of emotion
1a: a conscious mental reaction (such as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body
b: a state of feeling
c: the affective aspect of consciousness : FEELING
2a: EXCITEMENT
There are so many emotions under the surface of the ones we verbalize. For example, when we say that we are mad, we are not just mad. We may feel hurt, hostile, or furious but it is easiest to identify that we are mad, so we go with that. We work through being mad, or vent to our loved ones, but in the end we have only brushed the surface. We haven’t got down to the bottom of it because we haven’t addressed the other emotions hiding behind “mad”.
Sometimes we pull these uncomfortable emotions close to us because they are familiar. Other times we push them away (tricky thing though is that sometimes the harder we push them away, the more they grow). The secret to living with all your emotions (yes even the uncomfortable ones) is to embrace these emotions, focus on the feelings, learn from those feelings, and move forward peacefully.
Advice for allowing emotion into your meditations:
1. Simply observe your emotions without trying to figure out why they are there, where they came from or how to get rid of them. Simply be with them and know that you are in a safe place.
2. Throughout your meditation try to focus your attention to where you feel emotion. Don’t name the emotion or place it in a “good” or “bad” emotion category. Just try to concentrate on it and how it feels, without naming it.
3. If becoming overwhelmed by an emotional, take deep, slow breaths throughout the meditation to reset your intentionality and thoughts.
Try it out now:
Guided Meditation – Release Negative Emotions – Listen Here
Identifying Stored Emotions And Releasing Tension – Listen Here
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Meditate To See Your Path
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation: thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
1. Find a quiet space
2. Sit or lie down and get comfortable
3. Close your eyes
4. Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
5. Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allowing it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts and return your focus back to your breath.
a. Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add one more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
path
\ ˈpath , ˈpäth\
plural paths\ ˈpat͟hz , ˈpaths , ˈpät͟hz , ˈpäths \
Definition of path
(Entry 1 of 3)
1: a trodden way a winding path through the woods
2: a track specially constructed for a particular use a garden path of flagstones
3a: COURSE, ROUTEthe path of a meteor
b: a way of life, conduct, or thought decided on a career path in medicine
Advice on how to visualize your path while meditating:
1. Allow your mind to take you on a journey and down the path it gravitates to. Maybe the scenery is in the city, on a mountain, or on the beach. Whatever it may be, allow yourself to lead you to your answers.
2. With continued practice and consistency, meditation will come easier and easier. But until you get to a space where you are comfortable with your practice, be patient with yourself and where you are at on the journey to finding your path.
3. In order to find your path, you need to practice letting go of your thoughts as they come to you. Simply thank them for coming into your awareness and store them away for later. Focus your attention back on your breath, your mantra, or a fixed area within the room.
Try it out now:
Guided Meditation – Find Your Life Purpose – Listen Here
Finding Your Path Of Joy Meditation – Listen Here
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Meditate To Relax The Body
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation: thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
1. Find a quiet space
2. Sit or lie down and get comfortable
3. Close your eyes
4. Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
5. Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allowing it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts and return your focus back to your breath.
a. Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add one more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
If you are having difficulties relaxing certain muscles and find yourself tensing, try clenching your muscles tightly as you breathe in, and then releasing all the tension and relaxing as your breathe out.
Try it out now:
Guided Meditation – Blissful Deep Relaxation – Listen here
Compassionate Body Scan – Listen here
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Meditate To Release Judgment
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation: thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
1. Find a quiet space
2. Sit or lie down and get comfortable
3. Close your eyes
4. Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
5. Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allowing it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts and return your focus back to your breath.
a. Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add one more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
judg·ment | \ ˈjəj-mənt \
variants: or judgement
Definition of judgment
1a: the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing careful judgment of the odds
b: an opinion or estimate so formed is not worth doing in my judgment
2a: the capacity for judging : DISCERNMENTbe guided by your own judgment showing poor judgment
b: the exercise of this capacity a situation requiring careful judgment
As humans, it is hard not to judge. We can hardly help ourselves, it’s instinctual that we judge but also that we know it’s not right to judge others, so then we just end up judging ourselves! This endless cycle causes anxiety and uncomfortableness that make it difficult for us to press pause.
One thing that can assist you in finding the pause, or stop button is meditation. This intentional process can allow you to let go of the responsibility you have for others and frees you to focus on the more peaceful aspects of life.
Advise for releasing judgmental thoughts during your meditation practice:
1. During a meditation, acknowledge your judgmental thoughts that come up, thank them, and simply release them and return back to your meditation. This will happen often, so just repeat the process and continue your meditation process.
2. Throughout the meditation, try to replace the judgment with observance. The more and more curiosity you bring to the table, the easier it will be for you to turn your judgments into compassion.
3. Karma yoga focuses your meditation on serving others, and not yourself and this can assist in achieving a higher level of internal peace.
Try it out now:
Guided Meditation For Having No Judgement For Self Or Others - Listen here
Guided Meditation For Releasing Judgement - Listen here
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Meditate To Manage Anger
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation: thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
1. Find a quiet space
2. Sit or lie down and get comfortable
3. Close your eyes
4. Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
5. Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allowing it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts and return your focus back to your breath.
a. Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add one more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
noun
a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.
Chiefly British Dialect . pain or smart, as of a sore.
Obsolete . grief; trouble.
Verb
to arouse anger or wrath in.
Chiefly British Dialect . to cause to smart; inflame.
Anger is not just anger. Behind our anger lies rejection, grief, loneliness, a longing to reconnect, etc. When we ignore or repress our anger, we are always ignoring these other emotions as well.
Meditation is the midpoint between expressing and repressing anger. It allows us a space to stay present with it as it arises and recognize the many faces of anger. By doing this, we are able to become aware of our feelings to learn more about them and not be swept away by them.
Try It Out Now!
Releasing Anger – Listen here
Guided Mindfulness Meditation on Dealing with Anger – Listen here
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Meditate To Calm Chaos
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation: thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
1. Find a quiet space
2. Sit or lie down and get comfortable
3. Close your eyes
4. Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
5. Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allow it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts for coming and return your focus back to your breath.
a. Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add on more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
a state of utter confusion or disorder; a total lack of organization or order.
Being in a state of chaos or a prolonged state of chaos can cause immence amounts of stress within your body and mind. When stress arises, a lot of us shut down, over react or lose track of what needs to be done. It is important to understand the mechanics of stress in order to bring more self-awareness to the front line and give you the upper hand in tackling it. The increased awareness will allow you to take better care of yourself, your family, friends and colleagues.
Things to know about stress and chaos:
1: Your body doesn’t care if it’s a big stress of a little stress, it still has an impact on the body.
2: Stress can make smart people do stupid things by inhibiting certain parts of the brain to work.
3: People can become numb to their stress due to being so used to the prolonged high levels of stress.
4: We can control how we respond to stress.
5: The best strategy to handle stress is to tackle it in the moment.
Try it out now!
Guided Meditation: Finding Calm in Chaos – Listen here
Guided Meditation For Inner Peace and Calm – Listen here
Written by Shannon Gonter, LPCC:
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
How Long Should Someone Be In Counseling For?
There is no set time frame, it looks different for each person. Therapy is a unique and flexible process that can be adapted to fit the needs of each and every client.
Specific to my practice and session length, the initial intake session will be 90 minutes long, and every session after that will be 50 minutes from start to finish. Every counselor has the autonomy to structure their sessions a bit different but typically the average therapy sessions is 50 minutes long.
In regard to the therapeutic process, it varies from person to person. Some presenting concerns can be dealt with in a brief period of time, but this is not always the case. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula to determine how long counseling will take and for most it may take several months or years.
One hour a week for 6 months is approximately 24 hrs of therapy totally just one day of your life….
During the therapeutic process, you and I will frequently check in on your progress towards goals and will be continually evaluating your need for counseling.
My goal is to ultimately help you reach a point where you don’t need counseling anymore. You may still have personal work to do, but you will have learned the skills you need to act as your own therapist over time.
Meditate To Let Go Of Drama
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation:thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness:the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
Find a quiet space
Sit or lie down and get comfortable
Close your eyes
Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allow it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts for coming and return your focus back to your breath.
Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add on more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
Dra-Ma [drah-muh]
An exciting, emotional, or unexpected series of events or set of circumstances.
Drama is characterized by blame, wanting to be right, toxic fear and adrenaline. The drama pattern continues within your life because of learned behaviors from what was modeled for you as a child, things you saw in the media and the roles you learned from society. As humans, we have a bad habit of holding on to our dramatic feelings and mistaking them for parts of our core being. For some reason, they make us feel emotionally safe and it is comforting to take ownership of these anxieties. But with some hard work and courage, a meditation practice can assist you in no longer letting that drama define you and your internal state.
In order to let go of the drama…
Start meditating
During your meditations, visualize the drama, define the drama, understand the drama, and let go of the drama.
May help to use a tangible item during your meditations and visualize it as the drama and practice picking it up and setting it back down.
Written by:Shannon Gonter, LPCC
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
Meditate To Lower Anxiety Levels
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing. Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Welcome to the 10-part meditation blog series that focuses on the various ways that meditation can assist you and your overall wellbeing.
Each week I will publish a blog specifically dedicated to how a meditation practice can assist with lowering anxiety levels, seeing your path, help your thoughts go by more easily, etc.
Before diving into this week’s topic, I want to take some time to provide some definitions and answer some questions to ensure that we are all on the same page.
Meditation: thinking deeply or focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
Why should I care about meditation?
Because it has a direct connection to health benefits such as lower blood pressure, improved blood circulation, lower heart rate, less perspiration, slower respiratory rate, less anxiety, lower blood cortisol levels, more feelings of well-being, less stress and deeper relaxation.
Who should meditate?
EVERYONE! You don’t have to have some enlightened, spiritual abilities to practice meditation. You don’t have to be a yogi and go around saying namaste to everyone. You don’t have to know someone within the meditation community to be invited into it. Literally anyone from toddlers to elders can do and benefit from meditation.
Where should I start?
Take your time in trying out all different types of meditation and mindfulness activities to figure out what suites you best (resources provided below). After more and more time is spent meditating you will become more and more comfortable with the idea of being still and focusing your attention to your breath.
Quick Practice: Let’s Give It A Go!
Find a quiet space
Sit or lie down and get comfortable
Close your eyes
Breathe natural. Make no effort to control your breathing
Focus your attention on your breath. Observe your bodies movements with your breath. Focus your attention on your breath, remembering not to control it and allow it to flow in and out naturally. When your mind wanders, that’s okay, just thank your thoughts for coming and return your focus back to your breath.
Start with doing this for a few minutes, and then add on more time as your practice progresses.
Resources:
Books:
How to Walk, How to Sit, How to Eat, Reconciliation
Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness
Online:
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
YouTube:
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Pema Chodran
Sharon SalzBurg
Tara Brach
Apps:
Lowering Anxiety Levels
anx·i·e·ty [ang-zahy-i-tee]
a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
Meditation…
Breaks Anxious Thought Patterns
A common symptom of anxiety is having racing negative and obsessive thoughts that create a vicious cycle of worry within your mind. Meditation can reduce rumination and the break negative thought patterns by increasing your control over random unwanted thoughts and decreasing your tendency to worry by altering the way your brain responds to stress. For example, instead of following your negative thought down the rabbit hole, you learn to view your thoughts differently and recognize it for what it is – a thought – and let it go. Thank goodness to neuroplasticity and your brains endless capacity to change!
Balances Brain Chemicals
Anxiety is brought on by various factors (personality type, emotional trauma, genes, prolonged exposure to stress…) and sometimes causes an imbalance of chemicals within the brain (GABA and serotonin). A meditation practice can assist in restoring the balance of neurotransmitters within the brain by increasing GABA (neurotransmitter connected to feeling happy and relaxed) and serotonin (another neurotransmitter connected to being happy) and decreasing cortisol (stress hormone).
Builds A Healthier Brain
Based on research and scans, individuals who have a regular meditation practice show dramatically larger amounts of gray matter, the volume of the hippocampus, thickness of the cortex, increased blood flow to the brain, improved neural connections between various parts of the brain and decreased size of the amygdala (controls autonomic responses associated with fear, arousal, and emotional stimulation).
Shannon Gonter, Professional Counselor in Louisville, KY
Written by: Shannon Gonter, LPCC
I specialize in working with men and young adults. I am passionate about my career and want to work with you to create positive change. I also strive to create a counseling environment where men and young adults can relate, feel heard, and find new solutions to their negative patterns. Some issues that I most commonly work with are stress, relationship issues, difficulty saying “no” to others, difficulties recognizing emotions and emotionally connecting to others, anger, and intimacy issues, among others.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.